Show Me The Way

copyright kris 2000

Part: 1

The tones went off at two that fate full morning. It was late January and the rains had been steady for the past two weeks in Los Angeles. The building on fire was in an area that had seen unusual flooding. The last storm had dumped over 6 inches of water, flooding most of the canals and riverbeds in the city, creating a lot of work for the local fire departments, 51's included. Overtime was rampant.

When the engine and squad pulled up to the old abandoned warehouse they knew it was going to be tough going. If they were lucky, they could keep it from spreading to the other buildings on the block. This one though was a lost cause. The men though were secretly wishing that they had some rain to help. Captain Stanley called in a full first and second assignment to the warehouse. Hoping that there were no victims in the fire.

Roy and Johnny grabbed hoses and helped Chet and Marco fight the blaze from the south while other stations set up to the north and west. The east side of the building was the only area not yet involved.

Johnny felt the tug on the hose and looked behind him. Roy was signaling that they needed to go back the way they had come. Johnny nodded and they headed back. Just as they got to the door they had entered, the building gave an ominous creak. Neither man saw the roof collapse. All Johnny and Roy knew was that they were trapped in the basement with a ton of warehouse on top of them.

*****

Roy woke to the most tremendous pain in his legs he had ever felt. His head was swimming and he had a hard time keeping the dizziness away so that he could take in his surroundings.

"Hey Johnny, you there?" He called as loudly as he could. His SCBA mask was making it hard to be heard. Roy took the mask off and yelled again. Listening closely he finally heard the faint pleas of his friend and partner. "I hear ya Johnny. Hang in there."

Roy looked down his legs and saw that they weren't pinned under any debris so he pushed himself along the floor and debris to get to his fallen friend. After what seemed like an eternity, he reached his partner, John Gage. Running his hands along the lithe and still body, he found numerous injuries, including several broken ribs. Johnny was laying on his left side as much as he could. His breathing was being aided by his SCBA but it was still coming in fits and starts. Roy knew that his lungs weren't in the best of shape. He took a deep breath and said a silent prayer. He then reached into Johnny's right pocket of his turnout coat and felt what was needed. He pulled the HT out and checked it over. Seeing that it was in working order, he called out and was so relieved to hear his captains voice come over the instrument.

"We're almost to you Pal, just hang in there." He heard Hank Stanley call.

"10-4" Roy called back. He then went back to his friend, who was stirring. "Take it easy Junior. Help is almost here."

Roy leaned in close as Johnny tried to speak, "Not Brice. I don't want Brice to take care of me."

Part: 2

All in all Roy and Johnny were trapped in that basement for five hours. Roy knew that each hour that past was another hour taken away from him and Johnny. Roy watched as Johnny's breathing grew more eradicate. Roy must have said several silent prayers and curses over the course of their entrapment.

Finally, Chet and Marco got to them. The next person Roy saw was Charlie Dwyer. He didn't look too happy. "Hey Dwyer, what's shakin?"

"Roy. Not much at this time. Where do you hurt?" Charlie tried to sound nonchalant.

"Well, aside from a couple of broken legs and a bruised ass, I'd have to say everywhere." Roy joked.

"We'll get ya outta here and taken care of in a few minutes." Charlie turned at went over to Chet who was standing over Johnny.

"Whatch'ya got Kelly?" Charlie asked.

"It's Johnny and he's not responding. I think his back is broken." Chet said this last part in a whisper.

Bellingham joined Dwyer in the hole where Roy and Johnny were. He took over the care of Johnny while Charlie got Roy secured in a stokes and taken out. Roy knew it was going to take longer to get Johnny out.

*****

Johnny finally made it topside and into the awaiting ambulance thirty minutes after the first arrival of rescue personnel. He was strapped to a backboard with his right leg immobilized with a splint. His left shoulder was also immobilized to his body. Bob had been able to get the gear and turnouts off of his friend and fellow paramedic and secured for transport. The IV's were established and he was loaded into the ambulance. He would arrive at Rampart forty-five minutes after Roy's arrival.

Roy waited in his room for the news. He waited for several hours. The nurses were getting mad at him because he refused to sleep. He wanted to be alert when the news came to him. Dixie heard about the trouble Roy was causing and went to see her friend. "I see you're still with us? Weren't you told to go to sleep?" She brushed the hair off of Roy's forehead as she spoke.

"I can't sleep until I know how Johnny is. Please, Dix. I need to know." Roy's speech was a bit slurred from all the pain meds he was on.

Head nurse Dixie McCall took pity on the man, knowing how he felt about his partner and friend. "Okay, Roy, I will check and tell you what I find out. Then you WILL get some rest."

Roy nodded his head in agreement. Dixie came back ten minutes later. "Roy, he's in recovery right now. Then he'll be moved to his room. Dr. Brackett is trying to get both of you in a room, but the surgeon is saying that Johnny needs to be alone. We won't know the outcome for a while yet. Now YOU get to sleep." Dixie pulled the covers up over Roy's shoulder and patted his head. Roy slid down and let the darkness overtake him.

Dixie whispered her good nights and left the room. In reality it was already after eight in the morning and her shift had just begun. She headed down to emergency hoping that the decision had been made as to where Johnny was put.

*****

Johnny woke up knowing nothing but pain. His head hurt and his back hurt and his shoulder hurt. He couldn't remember a time when he had hurt this bad. Not even after getting hit by the car did he hurt like this. No he was downright in pain. He looked around for the call button to summon a nurse. He found it just out of his reach. He looked around the room and saw that he was by himself. He remembered asking to be put in the same room as his friend and partner. Apparently the doctor who worked on him didn't know how to listen. Johnny laid there and moaned as the pain increased. His stomach started rebelling. 'Good thing I'm not on a vent' he thought as his stomach came up his throat to say hi.

Dixie walked into Johnny's room ten minutes after the young man had lost his lunch. Dixie was appalled to see that no one had been in to take care of him. He was in traction so as not to pull out his stitches or to move. The doctors said that the damage was more likely then not temporary.

Drs. Brackett and Wilson entered just as Dixie was leaving to get some help for the young paramedic. Kel took one look at Johnny and knew why Dix was so pissed off. Dr. Wilson just shrugged it off and went to examine his patient.

Johnny was moaning as he laid there unable to move. The broken ribs were making it hard to take a deep breath so he couldn't vocalize his distress very well. Dr. Brackett went up to Johnny and placed a hand on his chest. He could feel how tense the man was. He looked over at Wilson and shook his head. He then started cleaning Johnny up. He had just removed the gown when Dix came in with some help.

Part: 3

Dixie, Dr. Brackett and nurse Stacey got Johnny cleaned up and medicated. Dr. Wilson went about his job, he examined the incision sites on Johnny's right leg and left shoulder. He also noted that Johnny was not responding verbally to his questions. To Dr. Brackett, he didn't seemed to concerned. Johnny not talking or making any noise was not Johnny. He looked at Johnny's eyes and throat. Noting that there was a little swelling in the glands he asked Dix to start him on a round of antibiotics.

"Excuse me, Dr. Brackett. Why are you ordering those drugs. This is my patient and I say what he receives." Dr. Frank Wilson was a surgeon who didn't like it when other doctors worked on a patient with him. He was the one who had the final say.

"Well, Dr. Wilson, I happen to know that this young man is susceptible to just about any infection that he can get. More so after surgery. He needs antibiotics before anything has a chance to set in. Trust me Frank, I've seen this young man go sour real fast. I know how to treat him." Kel stood there with his arms over his chest just daring the other doctor to challenge his expertise.

"Nurse, ignore that last order. I will determine whether or not this patient needs preventitive medication. Also, make sure that the morphine pump is kept close and the button near the patients hand." Dr. Wilson left the room on that note.

Dixie swore under her breath then turned to Dr. Brackett. "Well Kel, what are you going to do? Johnny needs the antibiotics and he doesn't need the morphine that close to him. You and I both know how his younger days were when we first met him. Now I'm going to do my best to regulate the morphine you need to get him on the meds he needs."

"I'm going to give that pompus ass a piece of my mind. First though I am going to the chief of surgery and file a formal complaint against one Frank Wilson. He needs to be put in his place." Kel left the room and stormed down the hall. Nurses and orderlies got out of his way as he made his way to the Chief of Surgery's office.

*****

Roy woke up feeling a little better, although both of his legs itched like a bitch, he looked around and sighed when he saw that he was still alone. He turned his head towards the door when he heard it opening.

"Hi Roy," Dixie said with a smile. "How are you feeling this afternoon."

"I was doing fine until I found that I was still alone. Where's Johnny and why hasn't he been moved in here with me?" Roy tried his hardest to not sound mad.

"Kel and I are working on it. The surgeon who operated on Johnny's shoulder and leg has decided that Johnny needs to be alone and dangerously close to the Morphine pump." Dixie knew that Roy had been told about most of Johnny's past, including the dependancy he had had on Morphine when he was in his late teens.

"Shit. Doesn't he have any idea what he's doin'?"

"That's not all Roy, he counter manned Kels order for antibiotics, it seems Johnny is developing a post operative infection. Dr. Wilson has insisted that Johnny be kept at the other end of the ortho floor. Dr. Brackett has gone to the Chief of surgery on Johnny's behalf. As John's personal physician, Kel has the right to over ride the surgeon on certain points in Johnny's care. Let's just hope that Dr. Cohen sides with Kel." Dixie helped Roy sit up and pushed the lunch tray closer and gave Roy a dirty look when Roy tried to push it back.

Kel entered the room just as Roy picked up his fork. "Good to see you eating, Roy. Now all you have to do is get those legs healed. Dr. Abrams said that you face at least eight weeks in those casts then an additional ten weeks of therapy. So I am only going to tell you this once, eat right, rest alot and don't worry so much. I just got back from Dr. Cohen's office and he authorized that John be moved to your room. He should be here in about twenty minutes. Now finish your lunch and stop worrying." Kel left.

"See, no need to worry." Dixie said with a smile.

"Yeah, but they can't get him to me fast enough." Roy sighed.

"Hang in there Roy, he'll be up here and keeping you smiling before you know it." Dixie then left to go back to her duties in the Emergency Department.

*****

Johnny was still pretty out of it when he was brought into Roy's room a half hour later. In fact to Roy, Johnny seemed more than just out of it. He watched the orderlies as they moved Johnny from the gurney to the special bed needed to keep Johnny's spine straight.

Once John was moved a nurse came in and checked his IV's. She then wheeled in the Morphine pump and hooked it up, leaving the push button device next to Johnny's hand. Roy looked at the nurse with a frown. "I don't think he's supposed to have the pump nurse." Roy stated.

"I'm only doing what's on his chart, Mr. DeSoto. And since you are not his doctor, it would behoove you to keep your nose out of this." The nurse turned and stalked out of the room.

Roy cursed his broken legs. He had no way to get to Johnny and move the push button. He did the only thing he could do in his condition. He picked up the receiver of the phone, he then called down to the nurses station in the Emergency Department and talked to Dixie.

"Hi Dix, they moved Johnny in finally. The only problem is that they have him pretty whacked out on Morphine. In fact the nurse just hooked up the pump and put the damn button in his hand. I can't get up to move it. Can you come up and help me?" Roy got this all out in one breath.

Dixie did not like what she heard. She told Roy to hang in there then she went to Dr. Brackett and passed on the information. "Kel, did you have a pump added to Johnny's chart?"

Kel looked at Dix, "No I did not. Why? What happened?"

"The nurse just hooked John Gage up to one and placed the button in his hand." Dixie was not very happy about this turn of events.

*****

Johnny started waking up. His mouth felt like he had eaten one of his athletic socks for breakfast. He tried to open his eyes but they just wouldn't cooperate. He felt around for the call button and found what he thought was the right one in his hand. After pushing it, he felt the familiar rush as the Morphine kicked in. He pushed the button out of his hand and started moaning. "No, not again. Help me please, not again."

Roy was startled awake by Johnny's cries. He looked over and saw that Johnny had pushed the button out of his reach. Roy pushed the nurses call button and then the button that raised the head of his bed. He called over to his friend and lover offering his assurances.

"Hang in there Junior. Help is on the way." Roy called soothingly to Johnny.

Dixie and Kel entered the room at a dead run. They stopped in front of Johnny's bed. Johnny had tears running down his face as he tried to fight the effects of the drug that was coarsing through his body. Kel took his stethoscope and listened to his friends heart and lungs. "Damn, he's sounding congested now. Let's get him off the Morphine. We'll find something else in a bit, first though I want a chest series and him started on Eurythromyasin stat. He doesn't need to come down with pneumonia at this time."

Dixie had already removed the pump and was heading out of the room. She came back a few minutes later with the new drugs and a nurse to help get Johnny changed into a clean gown and made more comfortable.

Kel went to his friends chart and read it over. There next to the surgeons signature was the order for the Morphine to be administered at twice the normal amount via patient controlled pump. "Damn that Cohen. He ordered this after being told that he was not to give Gage Morphine. I'll be right back."

Dix knew that Kel was going to have another talk with Abrams about Cohen. She hoped that both men took what Kel was going to say seriously.

*****

Johnny remained very spaced out over the next few hours. He slipped in and out of consciousness moaning and trying to move. Being that he was in traction, he couldn't move so he became even more upset and frustrated.

Roy talked quietly to the man every time he came to. He knew what Johnny was going through was rough, he'd been there for him fourteen years ago when he had been just a firefighter working rescue and Johnny had been the victim he had rescued. Roy had been called to a fire and found a young man pretty well out of it. He had been beaten badly and left to die in the run down, abandoned house. Roy took pity on the kid and got him out. The kind people at Rampart had helped him over come his addiction and get a job with the county fire department. The only people that knew about Johnny's past problems with drugs were Roy, Drs. Brackett and Early and Dixie McCall. No one else knew. It was one of the best kept secrets that they had.

*****

Johnny was having that dream again. The one where he is lost in the woods and can't find his way out. He was only seven and he had ran away from his papa who thought that all the kid was good for was to practice his right hook and backhand on. Johnny had run and run until he ran out of breath. When he stopped running, he was totally lost.

Johnny was found by the old hermit. An elderly Native American, who took pity on the child and took him to his house. He cleaned the lad up and gave him some secrets to get away from the evil in his home. Johnny was then returned to his neighborhood where he was promptly found by the neighborhood snitch and returned to his father.

*****

Roy woke up to Johnny's screams. He tried to get him to calm down. Not being able to get out of bed was frustrating. Roy heard the door open and a nurse came in. She walked over to the bed and starting talking quietly to Johnny, slowly soothing the young man. Roy sighed when he heard Johnny calm and return to sleep.

Roy sent up a prayer for his lover hoping that they would return to each others arms soon.

Part: 4

It took three days, but at the end of those days, Johnny was greatly improved. He no longer showed signs of pneumonia nor did he show signs of drug dependency. His x-rays showed that his shoulder and leg were healing nicely. There was still some swelling in and around his spine, so doctors were still not saying how long Johnny would be in traction. The vertebrae that were involved were low enough that if paralysis were permanent that he would still be able to enjoy and active sex life.

Johnny was getting tired of just staring at the ceiling. He rarely talked to Roy, feeling that he had let his friend down by getting injured and then having to go through the whole Morphine debacle. Every time Roy tried to start a conversation, Johnny just ignored him.

Roy thought back to the fire all those years ago, he wondered what would have happened to Johnny if he hadn't received the help and friendship from all the people at Rampart and the firestation Roy was working out of.

June,1963 Los Angeles CA,

Station 8 had been called out to a house fire in a rundown section of the county. They arrived to find the house smoking with no visible signs of fire.

The captain sent Roy DeSoto and Vincent DeLuca in to search for victims. Roy was just out of the academy and had been trained in rescue. He donned his gear and followed his more seasoned partner into the structure.

They were just about to leave the house when Roy heard a noise, he followed it to the back bedroom. They had searched the room, but apparently not well enough. Roy looked in a closet and found a youth around 15 years old. Roy picked him up and scowled at how light the boy was. They got out of the house just as the flames over took the structure.

Roy rode with the boy to the hospital holding his hand and reassuring the lad that all would be well. They arrived at Rampart ten minutes after leaving the scene. The boy had calmed down some but still seemed to be pretty jumpy.

Once in the treatment room, Nurse Dixie McCall approached the boy, she wanted to check him over. As soon as she got to the gurney, the boy freaked out. Roy had never seen anything like it before, but Dix had, in Korea.

"Roy can you give me a hand?" She asked the young rescue man.

"Sure, Dix. What do you want me to do?" Roy asked shyly.

"Hold him down. Talk to him too. He seemed to respond to your voice." Dixie held the boys arm down trying to stay out of the way of the other arm that was flailing around trying to connect with something.

Roy grabbed the arm and started talking in his soft voice, giving the boy something to anchor to. "That's it. Calm down, we're here to help you. Can you tell me your name?"

The boy opened his eyes and looked around. His pale skin was making his brown eyes and dark hair appear out of place. "My, uh name? Uh, it's John, uh Johnny. Yeah that's it. My name is Johnny."

"Well Johnny, how old are you?" Roy asked keeping his voice soft.

"I'm uh, not sure. I know I have a birthday coming up but I can't remember how old I am. I, uh,uhm.....I think I'm fifteen. That sounds right. I'm not sure though. I haven't really had a birthday for a long time now." Johnny's eyes drifted shut as the rush he was on left his body exhausted.

Between Dix and Roy, they got the boy out of his torn shirt and blue jeans and into a hospital gown. Dixie covered the boy with two blankets and started an IV. Dr. Brackett came in at that time.

After the initial exam, it was determined that the boy was malnourished and dehydrated. They found needle marks on his left arm. Not a lot of them but enough to raise suspicions.

Roy came back to the here and now when he heard Johnny start moaning. He looked over and saw how sweaty his lover was. He pushed the call button and started speaking quietly to the paramedic.

The nurse entered the room and went over to Johnny, she saw the same thing as Roy had. She went to the phone and had Dr. Brackett paged. While they waited Dr. Wilson entered the room. He gave a disgusted look at the nurse as he stepped up to the bed. He checked the incision sites and then looked around. "Nurse, where is his Morphine pump? I expressly ordered that this man be put on it."

"It's not on his chart Doctor." The nurse answered as she had been instructed.

"Nurse, get me ten miligrams of MS stat. Can't any one see how much pain this man is in?"

Just as the nurse returned with the medication, Dr. Brackett entered the room. "Just what the hell are you doing to my patient?" He demanded.

"I am giving him some relief from the obvious pain he is in." Dr. Wilson stated.

"That patient is my patient and his chart states that the only pain relief he is to get is from Percoset and Tylenol. You are not to administer any narcotic or other drug to my patient. Is that clear?" Brackett was totally pissed off now. He just hated it when his orders were countermanned by someone who knows nothing about the patient and who also can not read simple instructions.

"This man is in obvious pain and it is also obvious that the other drug is not working. I was just trying to help the poor soul out." Wilson was just as pissed. Roy was lying there listening to the ranting going on around him.

"Dr. Brackett, just tell the Doc about Johnny's allergy. We both know that the reaction isn't visible but it is an allergy none the less." Roy spoke quietly.

Dr. Wilson looked over at Roy as if seeing him for the first time. "Listen you, I did not want Gage moved in here in the first place, now you butt out."

Dr. Brackett looked Wilson straight in the eye, "I will not have you disrupting my patients. I am this close to filing a complaint against you for negligence. I am tired of the way you have been treating this young man. Now get out. His sutures are fine and no thanks to you, so is he."

Wilson left the room mumbling under his breath about not getting any respect.

June 1963, Rampart Hospital

Johnny woke up feeling lost and sore. His chest hurt because he was coughing so hard. He looked up when he heard a door open. Dr. Brackett came through the door smiling.

"Well, I see our smoke eater is awake. Now care to tell me your full name? All we could get out of you two days ago was your first name and a guess from you as to how old you are. Although I would say that you are younger than fifteen." Brackett never stopped smiling all the while he talked to the kid and examined him.

"I...my last name is Gage, and no matter what you say or think I am fifteen. I'll be sixteen in August." Johnny stated adamantely.

"Well, nice to meet you Mr. Gage. Now, care to tell me what you were doing in that abandoned house the other day?" Brackett asked. Just then Dixie walked into the room also smiling.

"Hi there handsome." She walked up to the bed. Johnny tried to scoot back away from the woman.

"I don't remember how I got to the house. Could you leave me alone now, please. I'm kinda tired." Johnny was now sounding like a small kid instead of a young adult.

"Sure Johnny, you get some rest. We'll be back in a while." Kel led Dixie out of the room.

"Why do you think he's afraid of me Kel?" Dixie asked her friend and sometimes lover.

"I don't know Dix, let's just watch the boy and see what happens." Kel headed down the hall and to the lounge for a cup of coffee. There was something about John Gage that had him worried.

Part: 5

While Kel Brackett and Dixie McCall were sharing coffee, Roy DeSoto entered the floor and went to Johnny's room. He was off that day so he thought he'd swing by and see the kid from the fire.

Knocking before he entered, he almost didn't hear the reply from the room. Roy went in and looked at the boy lying on the bed. He looked better with more color but still too damn skinny. "Hi there." Roy said to the boy.

"Uh, hi... do I know you?" Johnny whispered.

"Yeah, I got you out of that house that was on fire. You were pretty out of it. I had to help restrain you so that the doctors could look at you. You put up quite a fight for a skinny kid." Roy tried to make it a joke.

"Well, you'd be this skinny too if you didn't have no place to live." The kid said with a snotty tone.

Roy took one look at the kid and saw that it was all a form of false bravado. "Hey, man. Don't get upset. I'm not here to bust you or anything. I just wanted to see how you were doin'. Do you get enough to eat?"

Johnny saw that the man was being honest. "Foods okay. They keep trying to get me to eat more. Then they have this IV in me and that's also feedin' me. Hey are you a fireman or somethin'?"

"Yea, I work rescue out of station 8. My names Roy DeSoto. I just joined the department six months ago." Roy told the youth.

"That's cool man, I come from Montana. My old man kicked me outta the house. I lived on the res there and there's nothing up there for a fifteen year old kid, so I headed south for warmer weather and more jobs. Only problem is there are no jobs for someone my age here either." Johnny spoke to the man candidly.

"That's tough man, I hope things work out with you. I hear Child Welfare is coming to talk to you? Don't worry too much. I heard you got Sherry Anderson for your case worker. She's a sucker for a goofy grin. Hey, I gotta go, my wife is pregnant and I was supposed to go to the store and get some pickles and pistachio ice cream. I'll stop by again if you'd like." Roy headed towards the door.

"That'd be great. Hey, thanks for draggin my sorry ass out of that building." Johnny said.

"Just doin' my job." With that Roy left the room.

Roy heard his friend and lover softly crying. He cursed the casts on his legs. He wanted nothing more than to hold the man that he held most dear in his heart. He pushed the call button and spoke softly to Johnny.

"Hey there babe, it's all right. What's wrong Johnny?"

"I hurt Roy, real bad. Why am I bring punished?" Johnny cried.

"Oh, babe, you're not being punished. It's just time for you to get some more pain meds. I called for a nurse. You just hang in there. Help and relief will be here soon." Roy spoke softly.

Dixie walked in with Shelly White, who Johnny calls, Shelly Bean, and approach Johnny's bed. Dixie pushes the hair off of Johnny's forehead. "What's the matter handsome?"

"Oh,Dix, it hurts so much. My leg is killin' me. Can't ya give me something for it?" Johnny moaned.

"Why sure. You just wait right there and Shelly will give you some percoset and you tylenol. This will take care of you. Also I need you to drink some juice for me. Do you think you can do that?" Dixie stroked the arm of one of her favorite paramedics.

"Some apple juice would sure taste good, followed by some ice cold water." Johnny croaked out.

Dixie got the refreshment while Shelly gave Johnny the shot and pills. "There ya go sweety." Shelly crooned. She had no idea that Johnny's taste went more toward a different angle then hers.

"Thanks, Shelly Bean, that ought to fix me right up." It still didn't keep Johnny from flirting with every nurse at Rampart.

Dix brought in the drinks, including a soda for Roy, helping Johnny drink from the straw. Johnny drank all the water and most of the juice before he was sated. Dixie helped Shelly change the sheets and get Johnny resituated. He was scheduled to be taken to x-ray and possibly removed from traction that afternoon.

Johnny slept through the night after being put in a regular bed. He still couldn't move but there was feeling in his lower extremities. Both Johnny and Roy had something to celebrate when they were finally released from the hospital.

With Johnny still out of commission for at least the next three weeks, it was decided that both men would stay in the hospital during that time. Johnny would then be released to go home, followed by Roy a week later. All in all they would spend almost six weeks as guests at Rampart. Neither man was too happy about it.

Dr. Brackett smiled as he entered the room. "Hey guys, how's it going? I hear your leg is hurting Johnny, that is such good news."

"Yeah Doc, my right leg is driving me nuts, I can also feel my left foot. I'm so glad that everything seems to be in working order. I was real worried there for a minute." Johnny gave Kel one of his famous lopsided grins.

"Well let's take a look at you and Roy and then get you fellas some dinner. I hear their serving Mystery meat tonight, but I think I can talk Dix into bringing you some of Marco's chili if you promise to behave yourselves." Kel looked Johnny over and found that his temp was normal and his chest sounded clear. He then went to Roy and looked him over.

"Well Roy, it seems that the infection Johnny had has been transferred to you. I am going to start you on a course of antibiotics to get this cleared up as quickly as possible." Kel wrote the instructions down on Roy's chart then left the room.

Shelly came in a few minutes later and started a new IV on Roy and gave him a shot of the medicine Brackett had ordered.

June 1963, Rampart.

Johnny woke up sweating and hurting. His stomach was tied up in knots. He felt a hand on his head, it was so cool he leaned into it. Opening his eyes, he took in his surroundings. Dixie replaced the cloth with another cool one. She heard Johnny sigh. "Hey there handsome, you going to wake up for me?"

Johnny opened his eyes and gave a small smile before his stomach rebelled. Luckily Dixie knew what was coming and had an emesis basin on hand. She gently wiped off Johnny's face once he was finished throwing up. Johnny didn't show the usual fear of the woman as he had shown in the past. Dixie hoped that this was a good sign. "So are you going to talk to me today? Or are you going to ignore me some more?"

"Thank you, for the help. I mean. I'm sorry I threw up." Johnny gave her the grin he would become famous for. "When will the pain go away ma'am?"

"Now, don't you ma'am me. I am Dixie and that is what you will call me. Okay?" Dix gave the boy a soft smile.

"Okay, Dixie. You can call me Johnny. That's what my friends call me anyway. I come from Montana. Please don't send me back there. I will just run away again." Johnny's voice was full of fear and sounded like a lost boy. "Please, promise me."

Dixie pulled the boy into her arms and held him while he cried out his fear and grief. "I promise, handsome. No one will send you back to Montana. You will though be going into foster care until we can find someone to take you in."

"I have an Aunt around here somewhere. I've been looking for her since I arrived ten months ago. Her name is Ruth Gage, she's my old man's sister. My dad is kinda pissed at me. I can't say that I blame him. I kept getting into fights at school and around town. It's just that it's so damn hard to be me there. I mean my mom is Indian and my old man is white. I hate it, so I came here hoping I could be neither. Just me, you know?" Johnny laid his head back and ran his arm across his nose. Dixie handed him some tissue and told him to blow.

"Roy?" Johnny whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Roy looked at Johnny wondering where he got that idea from. "You didn't hurt me Babe, that stupid building did."

"Oh, I thought that you were mad at me because of all the yelling earlier." Johnny was still clearly confused as to what had happened over the first three days at Rampart.

"I was mad at Wilson from Ortho. He kept trying to give you Morphine and Doc Brackett kept shooting him down. That's what all the yelling was about. I'm so sorry you were upset by that." Roy talked slowly and quietly.

"Oh, okay, I guess. I thought that everyone was pissed at me. I know that I'm not supposed to take that crap but I got some in me anyway. I hate that shit. I wish that doctor was hear so I could give him a piece of my mind." Johnny whispered.

"Well, he was informed that you were allergic to the stuff. You know we can't tell anyone about that part of your past if you want to keep your job." Roy was trying to be as reassuring as possible. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll be right here and I'll watch out for the stupid doctor."

Roy had no sooner got that sentence out when he looked and found that Johnny had slipped back into the darkness and let sleep claim him.

Part: 6

Johnny and Roy stayed in the same hospital room for two and a half weeks, then Johnny was moved to the rehab portion of the hospital. While there Johnny was given carte blanche he tended to spend it on the third floor with Roy when he wasn't in therapy or soaking in the whirlpool.

Roy spent his time cursing the casts that were causing his legs to itch like crazy. His left leg was healing faster than his right so the full cast was removed and a soft cast/brace was put on in it's place. Now that Roy had the soft cast, he was allowed some freedom using a wheelchair. So now Roy and Johnny were tearing up the halls of Rampart with wheelchair races and loud laughter. Dixie never thought she'd see the two men having so much fun together.

That afternoon, Roy and Johnny ate lunch in the cafeteria with Dixie and Joe Early. They talked about what was going to happen once the paramedics were back on their feet and back to work. Roy was talkin about seeing his kids and taking them camping.

Johnny talked of spending the time home with his animals. Right at that time, a neighbor was watching Johnny's two horses, one dog and god knows how many cats there were now. He was thankful for such a good friend.

July 1963,

Johnny finally found his missing aunt. She was living in Santa Barbara and not Los Angeles. The county released Johnny into her custody. Johnny went to school but on the weekends he hitched to L.A. and the quickest fix. He still couldn't get away from the drugs that had ruled his life from an early age. He didn't want to have to steal to buy what he needed so he turned to other ways.

Two weeks after moving, Johnny was back in L.A. when he ran into Roy. The firefighter found the lad sitting on the curb outside of the station Roy was working at. He approached the boy carefully.

"Johnny?" Roy asked quietly. "What are you doing here? I thought you moved in with your aunt."

Johnny looked up and what Roy saw made him gasp. "What happened to you?"

Johnny looked at the ground and wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket. "I got in a fight. Some jerk thought that my face needed rearranging. I didn't. He won the argument." Johnny tried to shrug it off.

Roy went to the squad and returned with the first aid kit. He then went to work on fixing up Johnny's face. "Why don't you come home with me. I get off in two hours. You can meet my wife. She'd like you."

Johnny thought about it for a minute. 'Maybe they'll have some stuff I can pawn.' Is what he thought, what he said was, "Sure why not. I got nothing better to do."

Roy felt relieved that the boy had agreed. "Great. Stay here, I'll get you some breakfast then show you the station."

Johnny followed Roy into the station. He looked around and marveled at how clean the place was. He stood by the pole looking up at the ceiling.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Roy stepped up to Johnny. "I love going down that pole. It makes the fact that I work as a fireman all that more exciting."

Johnny nodded his head. "Yeah, I bet that's real cool. I wish I could do that. I doubt I'll ever get hired though. I'm not smart enough or the right color to get a nice job like this out side the res."

"Why is that Johnny. I think you're smart enough and the color of your skin isn't an issue. Hell I don't care if your red, white or blue. It does not matter. Don't listen to all those other guys. The County has strict rules about discrimination." Roy couldn't believe how down the boy was on himself.

******

Johnny sat up in bed sweating. The dream was so real. He hadn't thought of those times in years. He hadn't realized that he really had known Roy for a longer time than he thought. The memories of that time had been repressed when he got off the drugs and off of the streets.

Roy woke up when he heard Johnny mutter. "Hey babe, you awake?"

"Yeah, go back to sleep Roy, I didn't mean to wake you." Johnny spoke quietly.

"You had another dream, didn'tchya?" Roy asked in reply.

"How do you know that? I mean....yeah, I did. It was about the time I was first here in L.A. as a kid. I'd forgotten what that time had been like. I guess that dumb ass doctor made the repressed memories surface when he gave me that Morphine."

"I kind of figured that was what was happening. So, what kind of memories are you having?" Roy wondered aloud.

"Mostly about how I had problems and how Dr. Brackett helped me out." Johnny lied.

Part: 7

Johnny continued to heal quickly with the help of his best friend and lover who had moved to the rehab floor a week after Johnny did. Now both men were going through therapy together. Johnny worked real hard at strengthening his back and leg. His shoulder would have to wait for an additional two weeks as he had contracted an infection in the incision site that became quite painful and hindered the healing process. Other than that set back both were enjoying each others company and success in their respective therapies.

Johnny was still plagued with the flashbacks, what he didn't know was that Roy was also going through the same flashbacks. Roy waited patiently for Johnny to say something. Roy thought that when Johnny had finished cleaning up his act and going back to Santa Barbara, he had tucked the memories of the past life away in a safe place. He just hoped that when the memories resurfaced that Johnny would come to him and tell him about them.

Johnny had to undergo surgery on his right knee. When he was taking his turn at the parallel bars he thought he'd be cute and try a jig step. Unfortunately his knee decided it would do a box step while the rest of the leg did the jig. End result: orthoscopic surgery and another three weeks therapy.

July 4,1963 Roy DeSoto's House

Johnny walked into the small two bedroom house that Roy and his wife Joanne were renting. He looked around the living room and felt his heart sink. These people had nothing worth hocking.

Roy noticed the look on the young mans face and just had to comment. "What's wrong Johnny? Not liking what you see? My tv is in the bedroom. We don't watch it much so it stays in the bedroom for the late night news for Jo when I am working."

Johnny just nodded his head. He was then led into kitchen where Jo was doing the breakfast dishes. Roy had Johnny sit at the table while he got a glass of milk for the boy and coffee for himself.

"Jo, this is John Gage. The boy I told you about from the fire last month." Roy looked at his wife.

"Hi, John, Roy told me he found you in a house that was on fire. I hope you're ok." Jo turned from he task to take a look at the youth. She took in the black eye and the split lip and bruised cheek. She opted not to say anything since Roy hadn't said anything. Instead she spoke to Roy, "Why don't you take the boy's jacket and hang it up?"

Roy agreed but Johnny balked. He only had a short sleeve shirt on, so he didn't want his arms exposed. He was afraid that Roy would send him away. For some reason, Johnny felt a strong attachment to the man. He wanted to spend time with him, alone, but knew that that would never happen as Roy was married and he was just a kid.

Roy watched the boy closely. He felt something stir inside that he hadn't felt since high school. He knew he wouldn't act on it as he was married and the boy was six years younger than him.

He had heard that Johnny was seen on Hollywood Boulevard turning tricks for drug money. Roy didn't believe it right off so he tucked that knowledge away in his brain. Instead he focused on trying to get Johnny to open up and talk to him about what was happening and what had happened in the past. Roy knew that this was the only way to get Johnny to straighten up and get on with his life in a productive matter.

Roy had invited his shift mates to join him for a barbecue that afternoon in celebration of Independence day. He hoped Johnny would stick around for it. Looking over at the lad, he saw tired eyes and drooping lids. "Hey Junior, why don't you go into the second bedroom and lay down. You look like you haven't slept in a while."

Johnny looked at Roy and took him for his word. "Okay, I am kinda tired. You sure your wife won't mind?"

Roy pulled the kid to his feet and walked him down the hall. "Bathroom's here, you sleep here."

"Thanks Roy, I mean Mr. DeSoto. I really appreciate it." Johnny dropped his head to show how humble he was.

"It's okay, Johnny, you can call me Roy, I don't mind. You go get cleaned up and I'll let you rest for a bit. I'm having a barbecue this afternoon and you are more than welcome to stay." Roy handed Johnny a clean towel and left him to get cleaned up.

Johnny didn't know what to do. No one had ever treated him with such kindness and caring before. It was an alien feeling to the boy. He sat down on the closed toilet seat and cried for a good ten minutes. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. 'How the hell did you end up like this Gage?' he thought to himself.

Johnny finished cleaning up and went into the bedroom Roy had pointed out. The twin bed in the room was made with fresh sheets and blankets. He took off his jeans, shoes and jacket and laid down on the bed. He was not certain whether or not he would sleep, but his body fooled him and he crashed hard.

While Johnny slept Roy went to the local Good Will and picked up a couple of pairs of jeans and some button down shirts. Jo had insisted that he do this for the boy. Apparently, she saw something in the boy.

*****

Time passed quickly and soon Johnny and Roy were ready to return home. Roy now sported just one cast and Johnny was using a cane to get around. Neither man could drive yet so they relied on friends to take them to appointments and shopping. Mostly though the stayed at home cuddling on the couch and making out like teenagers.

As it sometimes happens with hyper-active people, Johnny got bored. Roy was at a loss as to what to do since Johnny had more mobility then he did. He called Mike Stoker and asked for some help. Mike suggested the beach, he would drive and take Johnny down to Malibu and let him burn off some energy there. Roy liked that idea. Truth was he needed some time away from his lover. He was getting tired of listening to the groaning and complaining.

So, Mike came over and took Johnny to the beach and left Roy at home. "You sure you don't want to come with us Roy?" Johnny asked for yet the third time.

"Yes! Now go! I don't want to see you for at least three hours. Mike, make sure to bring him back tired. I want him worn out totally." Roy let his feelings known.

Johnny's smile left his face as he got into Mikes car. He wondered why Roy was sending him off alone. Well not alone but not with his lover anyway. Mike looked at Johnny and smiled. He then saw the hurt look on John's face and wondered if the two men had had a fight or something.

"Hey, John, what's wrong?" Mike asked casually.

"Nothing man. I'm fine." Johnny didn't sound too convincing.

The drive to the beach was done pretty much in silence. Mike turned on the radio to the local sports channel and they listened to the playoff game. It was looking like Dallas was going to go to the Superbowl, now all they had to find out was who was going from the AFC West division. So far the Denver Broncos were looking like a shoe in. Mike would occasionally say something about the game but Johnny just stayed quiet.

Once they got to the beach, Mike parked as close as he could. He helped Johnny out of the car and they headed for the boardwalk. Several people were hanging out at the taco stand so they headed over to the gift shop next to a streetside restaurant that served surf and turf. They each bought some sunscreen and Johnny picked up Roy a T-shirt with a picture of a surfer on it.

They sat on the beach catching some rays for a couple of hours before Mike suggested that they get something to eat. They headed back to the boardwalk and to the surf and turf place. They both had the steak and shrimp combo with neither man drinking any alcohol.

Mike returned Johnny home five hours later. He was really worried about his friend since they never really talked, just sort of commented on this and that, mostly sports talk. Mike did though insist that Johnny do as much walking as possible. So Mike returned home one very relaxed and tired John Gage.

Roy met them at the door with a smile on his face. He saw how tired Johnny was and he almost fell off his crutches when he saw Johnny weaving as if he was drunk. That quickly turned to a look of concern when Johnny faltered and almost fell. Mike put his arm around Johnny and helped guide him up the ramp and into the house.

"I made him take a long walk along the boardwalk as well as fed him a big late lunch. He should need a long soak in a hot tub, preferably with someone so he doesn't drown and then a nice long quiet nap." Mike giggled as he left the two lovers to take care of each other.

July 4,1963, Roy DeSoto's house

Johnny woke up to the smell of meat on the grill. His mouth began to water immediately. He couldn't remember the last decent meal he'd had in the last three days. Since it was a holiday and he wasn't in school, he split from his aunts and headed for the bright lights of Los Angeles and the sound of the mean streets.

Jo knocked softly on the door. "Johnny, are you awake?"

Johnny gave a mumbled reply and Jo opened the door. She saw a young man who looked like a boy, sitting up on the bed with the bruised and battered face and body, she also saw a boy who was afraid of his own shadow but had the courage to stand up to the assholes who beat him. If Jo knew the situation that brought Johnny to the point of being beat, she wouldn't feel the same.

"Hey there sleepy head. It's almost time for the others to arrive. Why don't you get up and try on these new clothes that Roy got you and then come and join us in the back yard?" Jo turned and left the room purposely not commenting on the marks on the boys arms. She wanted to talk to her husband first.

Johnny put on the clean underwear and socks and a pair of the jeans and the blue button down shirt. He rolled the sleeves up past his elbows. Pulling on his sneakers and putting on his jacket, he left the room and went out to the patio and looked around. Roy and his wife were standing side by side at the grill and Roy had his left arm around his wife’s waist. He watched as they shared a gentle kiss. Johnny couldn't figure out why he felt the stirring in his groin when he watched this. Turning red the boy turned around and walked back into the house, going into the kitchen to get a drink.

Roy had spotted Johnny's retreat as well as his red face. He too had felt something but there was no way he was going to try anything because of his position with the fire department and the fact that Johnny was underage. Roy sighed softly and thought to himself, 'Someday I am going to do something about these feelings.'

*****

Roy had a late supper ready when Johnny came limping out of the bedroom. "Hey there lover. You are looking much better. A little sunburned, but definitely better."

Johnny shuffled over to where Roy was stirring a bowl of fruit salad. "I feel better. What is that heavenly smell?"

Roy planted a kiss on Johnny's lips before answering. "Chicken and Rice. I decided to bake them together to see how they come out. So far, so good. I made some fresh green beans and some corn as well as a fruit salad. How's that sound. It's almost eight so you should be plenty hungry."

The two men ate heartily and in companionable silence. The food came out great and all was eaten. They cleaned the kitchen up together and headed for the bathroom where Johnny soaked his aching muscles and Roy washed his back and massaged the tension free. Roy still had another three weeks before he could join Johnny in the whirlpool they had had installed shortly before they were released from the hospital.

They slept that night in each others arms and dreamed of the day when they could make love to each other again.

Part: 8

Roy slept late the next morning. He never even woke when Johnny got up at 5. When Roy woke up he awoke to the smell of cooking bacon and fresh brewed coffee. He cracked open an eye and saw that he was alone in the bedroom. Grabbing his crutches, he made his way to the kitchen. He saw Johnny standing in front of the stove wearing a pair of cut-offs and an apron tied around his waist.

Johnny turned at the sound of the crutches on the linoleum floor. "Morning Roy, how did you sleep last night?"

Roy couldn't help but notice how formal Johnny sounded. "I slept fine. How about you?"

"I slept fine Roy. Please sit down, breakfast is ready." Johnny still sounded stiff and formal to Roy.

Roy sat and ate noticing that Johnny didn't join him, instead he started cleaning up the kitchen. "Did you already eat this morning, Johnny?"

Johnny shrugged his shoulders and made a noncommital sound as he continued cleaning. He reached in the sink for a glass and suddenly gasped as he pulled his hand out of the sink. "Shit!"

Roy was up in a second and hobbling over to the sink to see what had happened. He saw Johnny cradling his right hand in his left. "Let me see that Johnny."

Johnny let Roy see his hand, it had a nasty cut running down the palm from the wrist to the ring finger. "It hurts Roy." Johnny was practically crying.

Roy grabbed some paper towels and wrapped it around the hand putting pressure on the cut. "Hold this tight, Johnny. I'm going to get us some help." Roy picked up the phone and called his friend at station 86, the closest to their little house.

"Okay, it's going to be all right. Help will be here soon. I hate to say this, but it looks like it's going to need stitches."

Johnny sat on a chair that Roy brought closer to the sink, so that Johnny wouldn't bleed all over himself or the rest of the room. Roy took his pulse and respirations and noted that shock was setting in rather quickly.

The squad showed up just as Roy thought Johnny was going to pass out. He had started drifting in and out almost sliding out of the chair. He was so relieved when he saw Belliveau come through the front door. He was joined by none other then Craig Brice, but Roy was certain he could keep him away from Johnny. "Boy, it great to see you guys. A glass broke in the sink and Johnny cut his hand down the whole palm. It looks like it needs some stitches and he's lost a lot of blood."

Belliveau took a look at Johnny's hand then put some more gauze on it and put more pressure on the wound. He then looked at Craig and gave him a set of vitals. "Brice, Johnny's real pale and diaphoretic. His pulse is rapid but weak and respirations are 26. B.P. is 85 over 60. We need to get an IV started and get him to Rampart."

After Brice called it in the order for the IV was given just as the ambulance pulled up. They got him packaged and loaded along with Roy in the passenger seat. They headed to Rampart as fast as they could go. Johnny's wound wouldn't stop bleeding.

Once at Rampart, Dr. Morton took over the care of Johnny's hand. "Let's see what we've got here." He carefully removed the bandaging from the paramedics hand. "How in the world did you do this Gage?"

Roy stepped up to the table and spoke for Johnny, who was a ghostly shade of white and not in any shape to speak, "He was washing dishes when a glass broke in the water. It sliced his hand open."

Dr. Morton looked at Roy then at Johnny. "Well, I guess Chet Kelly is right. Gage, you're a disaster magnet." Morton had a slight smile on his face as he said this. Roy reached over and squeezed Johnny's shoulders in support. Dr. Morton saw this and frowned. "Roy can you wait outside while I get this hand taken care of. I don't think it will need surgery, just a bunch of stitches."

Roy was taken aback by the request. None of the other doctors had ever asked him to leave the room for a simple procedure. Only when Johnny was in bad shape did they ever ask him to leave.

Roy was standing just outside the door when Dixie approached. "Why aren't you in with Johnny?"

"Morton kicked me out." Just as Roy spoke, Johnny let out a yelp of pain, Roy turned to go in but Dixie stopped him.

"Let me take care of this." She looked pissed. She didn't like anyone hurting one of her favorite paramedics. She pushed open the door and headed straight for Johnny.

Morton looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Yes Miss McCall. What can I do for you?"

"I was walking by and I heard Johnny here yell. What's wrong handsome?" She turned her attentions to the younger man.

"I... tried to....tell hi...him." Johnny had to stop to catch his breath. He was breathing fast and shallow. "Not enough...pain...killer."

Morton looked at the two and again rolled his eyes. "I used the prescribed dosage of Novicain. I gave it the proper amount of time to take effect before I started suturing the sight. Now if you don't mind."

Dixie looked at Morton with a look of disgust. "I assume you read his chart?"

"Of course I did. What is your point?"

"Well, if you had indeed read his chart, you would have seen that the proper anesthetic to use would be Lidocain and not Novicain. Johnny's tolerance to Novicain is so high that it just doesn't work anymore. Now I would suggest that you give this man the proper sedative and pain killer before you continue stitching his hand." Dixie gave Johnny's shoulder a squeeze and stared Morton right in the face.

"Fine!" Morton turned to the nurse who was helping him and ordered the new drugs. He then waited five minutes and then resumed stitching the hand. After 20 minutes and 40 stitches later Johnny was released to go home.

July 4,1963 DeSoto house

The party was pretty much underway. Roy had finished manning the grill for awhile. He picked up his beer and looked around. He saw Johnny sitting off by himself. He looked lost despite the fact that several of Roy's shift mates had children, some close to Johnny's age. He walked over to the boy and noticed the tears running down his cheeks.

Roy sat down next to the crying lad, "Hey, Junior. What's wrong?"

"Nothin'." Johnny wiped his arm across his face. Up close he was pale and tired looking with purple splotches under his eyes despite the five hours sleep he had had. "I just have a headache. That's all."

"Well, have you eaten?" Roy was real concerned with the way the boy was looking.

"I had some salad. I'm not real hungry though." Johnny snuffled as he tried to bring his tears under control. What he really needed was the high he got when he used Morphine. He both injected it and took the pills. He liked the way the drug took away all the pain he felt. He smoked grass as well and it helped some but nothing beat the mind and pain numbing qualities as Morphine did. Johnny sat there not realizing he was rocking back and forth, not listening to Roy, just staring out into nothing.

"Johnny? What's wrong? Talk to me!" By now Roy was real worried. Johnny had a spaced out look and wasn't responding to his voice or his touch. His fellow co-workers saw what was going on and came over. De Luca came up and sat on the other side of the boy. He knew from talking to Roy about the suspected drug use and prostitution.

"Hey there kiddo, what's shakin'?" Vincent, he refused to be called Vince, talked to Johnny as if he were his brother.

"I don't feel so good." Johnny got out between sobs. He was really hurting now. He needed his fix and he needed it now. "Roy? Help me please. I need something for the pain."

Roy scooped the boy up, still surprised at how little he weighed, walking him to his car. He called back to his captain that he was taking Johnny to the hospital and to help his wife break up the party. His captain agreed and Roy continued to his small sports car. He placed Johnny in the passenger seat and headed for the drivers side. Joann showed up with a bowl and a blanket just as Roy reached his door. "Thanks Jo, I'm sorry."

"Just get this boy taken care of. There's something special about him and I hate to see him feeling poorly." She went around to the drivers side and bent down. Kissing her husband tenderly, she then reached over and ruffled Johnny's long, thick hair.

Roy arrived at Rampart twenty minutes later. Traffic had been a bitch since every one was heading to all the different fireworks displays that would start in just a few short hours. He had to help Johnny out of the car. He carried him into the Emergency Department and laid him down on an available gurney. Looking around he caught site of Dr. Early.

Joe Early was just about ready to sign out for the day, when he caught site of a familiar fellow. Walking over he realized that it was the firefighter who had brought in a young man the month before. "May I help you?"

"Yeah, Doc. Can you take a look at my friend here. He says he's in pain and he has a headache and upset stomach. I'm not sure but I think it has something to do with drugs." Roy talked candidly to the doctor.

"Sure. Bring him in here." Leading the way to treatment room one. He went over to the phone and called in the on-call doctor who would be taking over for him when he left. Dr. Kel Brackett entered just as Roy was helping Johnny remove his jacket.

"No, please, don't take my jacket. I need it to hide my arms with." Johnny was so out of it, he didn't realize that Roy was the one taking his jacket.

Roy finished pulling off the jacket and got a good look at the boy's left arm. There were about 6 track marks on the arm. He then removed the shirt and was appalled at the sight. The boy had bruises on his torso and upper arms that looked like they were caused by a mans fist and hand.

Kel walked up to the boy and pushed his hair out of his face. "Hello Johnny. Remember me?"

Johnny opened his eyes and looked around. He saw all the white coats and started to panic. 'NO I can't be back. I won't go back.' his brain screamed. "Yea, your the doc who took care of me after the fire. I won't let you send me away."

"Now Johnny, I am not going to send you anywhere. I need you to tell me how you feel. Do you hurt anywhere?" Kel was being uncharacteristically patient with the boy.

Johnny laid there trying to rock back and forth while nodding his head. "Yes," he whispered. "my stomach hurts something awful. Please give me something for it. I promise after it feels better I'll go home so you don't have to send me to the home."

Roy looked at both of the doctors and then down at Johnny. "What home is that Junior. We need to know so we don't accidentally send you there."

"The state home, the one in Helena. It's not a home really, more like a kids prison. I spent eight months there while they looked for my parents. They found them out side the Res and sent me back to them. Please don't send me back there. I won't stay, I'll just run away again. I mean it!" Johnny was getting more and more agitated.

"Settle down Johnny." Dr. Early laid a hand on the boys shoulder. "We are not going to send you to the home or to anywhere you don't want to go."

Johnny calmed down and let the doctors examine him. "He's going through withdrawal, Roy. I'm going to admit him to the rehab ward and see if they can help him." Kel said to Roy.

"Doc, don't put Johnny there. That's a lock down ward and he'll think you sent him to jail or something. Put him in a private room for now. Maybe after I talk to my wife, we can get in touch with his aunt and get him in an outpatient program." Roy was real hopeful that Brackett would agree with him and help Johnny on an outpatient basis.

"Okay, Roy, we'll do it your way. He'll go to Peds right now and I'll get a hold of his aunt. I have her number from when we found her. I'll see about getting him into a program in Santa Barbara. If one is not available I'll see about finding a way to keep him here and have him go through the program at Rampart on an outpatient basis." Brackett turned and left the room, he needed to make some phone calls.

Roy sighed then went and called his wife. She agreed that Johnny needed to be seen outside the hospital environment and she also suggested that if there wasn't a program back with his aunt then the boy would be welcome to stay with them. Roy understood that the baby would be born in four months. He hoped it wouldn't take away from the fact that a teen had invaded their life and that an infant was soon to.

*****

Roy got Johnny out of the car and into the house. He had been given some Valium so that he would relax. The debacle with Morton had greatly upset him and Roy had caught on to his discomfort. "Come on Babe. We're home and you need to get to bed."

Johnny mumbled something totally unintelligible and nodded his head. He still cradled his hand to his chest even though he was given a sling to hold it in a position that felt comfortable.

"Does your hand still hurt?" Roy asked as he began taking the clothes off his lover. This was no easy feat as Roy was still on crutches, even though the cast was of the walking variety, the doctor still didn't want him to put a lot of weight on the leg.

"Yeah, it hurts real bad. Make the pain go away. Please." Johnny's mumbles were getting easier to understand as the drugs wore off. "Just don't send me away. Please don't send me back to the home."

Chills ran down Roy's spine as the words broke through his well guarded memories. "Damn it. That's what he's remembering." Roy got Johnny under the covers and kissed his lips before heading into the living room and letting in the dogs. He then picked up the phone. He called Brackett and told him what was happening.

Brackett agreed to come to the house the next afternoon and talk to both men about Johnny's memories and the repercussions that they held.

Part: 9

Kel looked around the grounds of the small ranch owned by John Gage. He shook his head at the sight of the two dogs and the horses frolicking in the corral and back yard. He saw Roy sitting on the porch looking out at the lake at the back of the property.

He walked over to the porch and sat down on the top step. He looked at Roy and sighed. "Well, any new memories?"

Roy looked slowly at Brackett as he thought how to say what he was thinking. "Not really. I also don't think he's remembering per se. I think the memories are trying to surface but there's a part of his brain that is keeping the memories from solidifying. I think he knows that there's something he is supposed to know but doesn't. I don't know." Roy gave up trying to explain what he had seen and heard from Johnny.

Johnny came out from the kitchen and joined the two men on the porch. The sky was clouding over and Johnny looked at the animals. He excused himself then used the dogs to bring in the horses. He got around a lot better now and the dogs were eager to help their master.

While Johnny was getting the animals in to beat the weather, Roy and Kel went inside and made some lunch. Bringing it out onto the table that sat on the far side of the porch, Roy and Kel sat down and waited for Johnny to join them.

"Hey, what's for lunch?" Johnny asked.

"Just some ham and cheese sandwiches and chips. I also made a salad and I want you to eat some." Roy stated.

Johnny made a face as he sat down, but he took a serving of salad and dowsed it with Catalina dressing. He then took a sandwich and poured himself a glass of Iced Tea. He looked over to Dr. Brackett. "Hey Doc. What brings you here? I know it's not the food." Johnny giggled.

"Actually Johnny, I came to see you. Roy here has told me that you've been having some strange dreams." Kel said quietly.

"Yeah, so, I have dreams, everybody does." Johnny looked just a bit uncomfortable.

"I know that John, but Roy said that these dreams were upsetting both of you. Now don't get bent out of shape. I just want to make sure you're all right and that if you need anything you know I'll be here to help you." Kel was being as emphatic as possible. He knew that now was not the time to push Johnny. He'd done that once and almost lost him to drugs.

"Okay, I've been having these strange dreams. They seem to have something to do with when I was a kid. I mean, you know that I've had a hard time remembering my childhood, right? Well now it seems to all be crashing down on me. I can't get this one image out of my head." Johnny stopped suddenly. He had a strange look on his face. You know the one, where a lightbulb goes off over the cartoons head? That was Johnny just at that moment.

"Johnny?" Roy touched Johnny's arm. "What's wrong?"

Kel shook Johnny to try to bring him out of it. Johnny shook himself and looked at Kel, then at Roy. "It was about the Morphine. I remember that the real reason I can't take Morphine is because I had a problem with the shit when I was a kid. Didn't I? And you knew about it Brackett. You helped me get over it. Right?"

Kel looked to Roy for help. Roy just shrugged and nodded his head.

"Yes Johnny, you had a problem when you were about fifteen. I helped you and so did some other people at the hospital here and back in Santa Barbara. You worked real hard to get over the addiction but for some reason, you ended up burying the memories so deep that you didn't remember them until the day of the accident. Apparently when you were given the Morphine by Wilson, it opened up the gate to your memories of that time. Both good and bad are there waiting to get out. Unfortunately the bad ones are the only ones surfacing at this time." Kel kept a close eye on Johnny. He wanted to get an idea as to what his reaction would be.

Johnny sagged back in his chair and started it rocking. "I remember some real strange things. Like I remember when Dixie was just a regular R.N. and not the Head of the department. And I also remember Joe before he went grey. My biggest problem is this face that keeps appearing that I can't seem to identify. I feel as if I should know this person, but I just can't pull the name out of my hat."

This time Roy spoke up. "That's okay, Junior. When and if you remember, that will be all right with me. I don't care if you ever remember who that face belongs to as long as you remember that you had a rough time back then and had several people who befriended you and took you away from the pain and misery you were feeling."

Johnny picked up one of Roy's hands and raised it to his lips where he laid a gentle kiss on it. "Thanks Roy."

Roy fought back the tears. He secretly hoped that Johnny remembered the summer he spent in L.A. getting to know himself and Roy.

July 1963, Los Angeles

Johnny's aunt moved to Los Angeles while her nephew went through the drug rehab program for lost teens at Rampart. They didn't have the facilities needed back home. She didn't feel right having Johnny impose on the DeSoto's so she moved down to L.A. for the six month duration. She figured that by the time they went home, Johnny would be ready to continue his education. She prayed every night that Johnny would get the help he so desperately needed.

At first Johnny didn't like the restrictions place upon him while undergoing rehab. He was a boy who had been on his own for three years and during that time, he answered to nobody. He fought his own battles, quite a few of which he lost miserably, and he took care of himself, as best as he could.

Roy stayed by Johnny during the first few days when he was cleansing his body of all the drugs he had been doing. He watched as the boy curled into a ball and cried himself to sleep as he went through the agonies of withdrawal. Dr. Metcalf and Dr. Basham did their best to make certain that the effects of withdrawal were minimal. Yet Johnny still had a rough time of it. Dr. Metcalf consulted with Dr. Brackett on the case. It was determined that some of the stuff Johnny had been doing was not what he thought it was.

"I'm tellin' you doc, all I ever did was pot and Morphine. I never did no smack. Heroin is for losers. I never did that shit. I'm tellin ya the truth." Johnny was highly agitated at being told that the Morphine he'd been injecting had really been heroin laced with strychnine. He had been slowly killing himself while turning himself on to harder drugs.

"We believe you John." Dr. Metcalf spoke softly to the young man, "You're young still and you trusted the person who sold you the stuff."

Johnny felt a little better knowing that at least one other person was on his side. He needed as many people on his side now then ever before. He hurt both physically and emotionally. He had been raised not to show his feelings unless he wanted the crap beat out of him. So any time anyone showed any kind of positive feelings towards him, it was hard for him to accept.

Roy sat with Johnny and held his head as he threw up and his hand as he cried himself to sleep. Joann came and sat with him so that Roy could take a break twice during the first 72 hours. Those are the hardest hours of rehab. The body purges itself of the poison the user had been putting into it.

After thirty days Johnny was allowed to go home with his aunt and continue treatment on an outpatient basis. He was to attend group therapy every other day and on the alternate days he was to attend therapy with Dr. Basham, on a one on one basis. So far Johnny hadn't made the progress they had hoped. Both doctors figured that if they sent him home, he'd be more receptive to the therapy. So far they were wrong.

*****

Johnny was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower when a thought came to him, he pulled on his robe and went in search of the one person who could answer his question, Roy.

"Hey Roy." Johnny called as he left the bathroom.

"What?" Roy called back.

"Can you come here and answer a question for me?" Johnny turned around and went back to the bathroom. He really needed to take a shower and having an extra hand to wrap some plastic around his hand so that he wouldn't get his stitches wet.

Roy entered the bathroom with a goofy grin on his face. "What can I answer for you, lover?"

"How come you know about what happened with me? I don't remember much, but you'd think that I'd remember you if you were there."

"Well Johnny, I was just out of the academy when there was a fire. I found you in one of the rooms I was searching. You were pretty out of it so I stayed with you during your exam. Dr. Brackett kept me updated on how you were doing through out the summer of '63. I hope you're not mad. I...you touched me even back then. You were so lost and alone. I couldn't help but fall for you." Roy took Johnny's right hand and slowly wrapped the plastic wrap around it, using medical tape to secure it, while he answered Johnny's question.

"Oh, well......I hope I remember that time soon. I sure would like to know how I felt about you back then." Johnny placed a gentle kiss on Roy's lips, then turned and stepped into the shower.

Part: 10

Roy thought about that last statement from his lover. 'I hope you don't Junior.' He thought to himself. Even he didn't want to remember that part of that summer. They had gotten to know each other better. Roy found that the boy he thought he knew, was really a lost soul who'd been abused and used and generally made to feel as if he was worthless as a human.

Roy's thoughts turned to the day Johnny had turned 16. He remembered vividly the party they had thrown for the boy....

August 1963, DeSoto's residence

Johnny arrived with his aunt at 1 p.m.. Roy had planned this party for most of the month, he wanted Johnny to feel that he really had friends who cared for him.

Roy had invited some of the kids from the group therapy session and the men from the station as well. He barbecued burgers and hot dogs and for those watching their weight, chicken breasts. He watched Johnny closely while he made the rounds. He knew that the boy was having a hard time coping with all that had been happening the past month, Roy thought that for someone so unloved, he did a good job hiding that fact.

Johnny knew that he was being watched by Roy, truth be known, he liked that he was being watched. It made him feel worth something. It also made him feel something else. Something he never thought he'd ever feel. When he'd been turning tricks for drug money and to get to L.A., it had been just about sex. He knew that with Roy, it would be about love. That is if Roy were gay and interested in a skinny sixteen year ole.

Johnny closed his eyes and replayed his current favorite fantasy, he opened his eyes and saw that he was again being watched by Roy DeSoto. Johnny looked down and turned red. He had developed a rather prominent bulge in his jeans.

Roy too was turning red. He knew that he shouldn't be staring at the dark haired boy, but he couldn't help it. He felt something for the young man that he hadn't felt in years. He knew that Johnny was too young for him, so he kept his feelings to himself and allowed a little fantasy to grow. He would have loved to take that boy into his arms and love him until the boy believed that he was worth loving.

Johnny couldn't help himself, he watched as Roy DeSoto turned red and tried to hide his erection from those around him. He hoped that Joann didn't find her husband in the state he was in and blame it on him. Johnny smiled at Roy and headed off the deck and down to the back portion of the yard that led to a vacant field of some sort. The neighbor kids liked to play there.

Roy was sitting on the ground by the big Oak tree that was in the South East corner of the lot. He had a beer in his hand and a frown on his face. He hadn't seen Johnny since the cake had been served and that was almost an hour ago. His aunt had returned to their apartment with out the boy. She had been told that Johnny was staying with Roy and his wife that night. He sensed that he was being watched. Roy looked around, but with the setting of the sun, he couldn't see that well from where he was. Standing, Roy opted to speak, "Who's there?"

He heard a rustling coming from the bushes that were behind him. "I said, who's there?'

Johnny came out of the bushes. He looked scared. He thought he was in big trouble. "It's...uh..just me, Roy. I didn't mean to scare you or make you mad. I just needed to go off and get my head set again. I...uh....was feeling...a little out of...uh..place up there. I mean, I don't really know all these people and I guess after Aunt Tessa left, I sorta got upset. I didn't want to ruin the party for everyone else so I sorta came out here to think. I hope you don't mind."

Roy looked at the boy closely. He saw fear and trepidation in those brown eyes. His heart slowly broke seeing those things. He pulled the boy into his embrace. "It's okay, Junior, I'm not mad at you. I don't think I could ever be really mad at you, or at least I know I could never be mad enough to not like you anymore."

Johnny flinched as he was pulled into those strong arms of the man who gave him wet dreams. He tried to pull away so that Roy couldn't feel how he really 'felt'. "Uh, thank you , I think."

Roy released his grip on the young man and stepped back. He saw what he had felt. He didn't want to spook the kid so he chose not to say anything about it. "Hey, let's go see if there's any cake and milk left."

They walked back to the house together. Roy looked at Johnny after they climbed the steps leading to the deck. "Looks like the party is breaking up." Roy commented.

Johnny looked around as well and saw that indeed people were leaving. "Yeah, I guess that once I left they felt that it was okay for them to leave. I'm sorry your friends felt that they had to be here. I know they probably had somewhere else they could be on a Friday night."

"My friends came because they like you. Not because I made them. They are leaving because it is after 10 and some of them have to work in the morning. Now let's get that cake and milk then hit the hay ourselves."

Johnny and Roy shared the last of the cake washed down with copious amounts of ice cold milk. They shared laughs as to the milk mustaches they both sported.

Roy led Johnny to the room he'd used in the past at a little after 11 that night. Johnny looked a little uncomfortable but knew he had to say something. "Uh Roy, I just want to thank you for the party and all. I mean, I've never had a birthday party before. My folks kinda ignored my birthday as well as other holidays."

Roy felt that someone had to pay for the way this boy had been treated. "Why did they do that Johnny?"

"I guess I can tell you. MY parents had two children. I was their second one and a mistake at that. My older brother was loved and cared for. He was four years older than me. When he was seven, he was running in our front yard playing some game when he ran out into the street. Some asshole driving a pickup truck came barreling down the road. He never saw my brother chasing the kickball. Nathaniel died instantly. After that what little attention my parents had given me when Nate was alive vanished. They kept me around only as a reminder to them that they had had another child and that I was nothing more than a burden to them. They started hitting me when I entered kindergarten. Even though we lived outside the reservation, they made me attend the res school. I hated it there. I was treated like scum. That's what my folks wanted. They actually liked it when I got sent home for fighting. It gave them a reason to beat me. The drugs came along naturally. You see, my old man is white and he had a lot of anger in him. He started smoking pot after Nate died. Then he started snorting smack a while after that. He made me smoke with him when I turned 10. He said it would make me a man. I turned to Morphine after a beating my old man gave me that broke my arm and four ribs. The docs at the clinic taped me up and set my arm. Then I was sent home with enough pain pills to choke a horse. I loved that shit. It not only took away my physical pain but also my emotional pain." Johnny stopped there realizing he had just about told his life story to someone he'd only known for two months.

Roy looked at the boy, he put his hand on top of Johnny's and gave it a squeeze. "I am so sorry you had to go through all of that Johnny. I wish I could take you back in time and save your brother so you could be loved a little bit." Roy's voice faded as he choked on his emotions.

*****

Roy continued to watch his lover sleep as his thoughts kept going back to the party. More precisely the time after they had both turned in. Roy remembered the nightmare that Johnny had woken up screaming with.

DeSoto House 1am August 1963

Roy heard the scream and ran to the room where it came from. He saw Johnny sitting in the corner of the room holding his stomach and rocking back and forth. Roy approached carefully.

"Hey, Johnny. SSHH it's okay to wake up now. The dream is over." Roy sat down on the floor next to the boy. He pulled him into his arms and rocked with him. "SShhh it's okay Johnny. I got you and no one will hurt you ever again."

Johnny slowly calmed down. He snuggled closer to the body that was holding him. Almost as if in a trance, he let his hand roam where it shouldn't have. He brushed his hand against Roy's crotch.

Roy gasped when he felt the hand brush his crotch, he had started getting hard as soon as he had pulled the boy into his arms. Now the boy was trying to crawl into his lap.

Johnny was still in a somewhat sleep state. He had no idea what he was doing. He sought out the lips of the person holding him. He tried to kiss that person and couldn't understand why he was rebuffed. Johnny sighed and settled in to the arms of his savior.

Roy did his best to keep his wits about him. He almost lost it when Johnny tried to kiss him. Roy knew that the boy was not fully awake so he just pushed him away. He picked the boy up and settled them both on the twin size bed. Johnny immediately settled down and dropped back into a deep sleep. Roy worked his way loose and pulled the covers up over the boys body. Planting a chaste kiss on the top of Johnny's head, he wished the boy sweet dreams then went back into his own room.

"How is he?" Joann asked quietly. She had woken up after hearing Johnny scream and hadn't been able to get back to sleep because the baby was kicking her.

"He's hurting real bad, Jo. He had such a bad childhood. It's no wonder he's so messed up. I told you how his folks treated him. Man, if I could get my hands on that asshole. I...." Roy tapered off as his anger subsided. Instead he pulled his wife into his arms and proceeded to make love to her to take out his frustrations.

*****

Roy heard Johnny whimper in his sleep. Pulling the man closer to himself slowly taking the bad dreams away from his lover. Roy finally drifted off into a fitful sleep. He clung to Johnny as if his life depended on it, yet he had the most powerful dreams.

Roy woke early and put on the coffee. Watching the sun rise while sipping coffee and sitting next to his sleeping lover, Roy contemplated telling Johnny the whole story about their relationship during that long lost summer.

Johnny tossed in his sleep putting out his arm. He felt Roy's leg. Rubbing it with his hand, he peeled open his eyes slowly.

"Hi there lover." Roy greeted him.

"Mmmm, I could just stay here forever." Johnny whispered.

"You just lay there and relax Babe. I took care of everything already. You don't have to lift a finger today. Today is declared John Gage day and in honor of this day, you get: Breakfast in bed, a full body massage, lunch on the deck, dinner at the restaurant of your choice, and last but not least, my undying love and affection." Roy gently kissed Johnny's lips.

Roy and Johnny spent the next twenty minutes making love before Roy served breakfast.

Part: 11

Three days later.

Roy stood in his Captains office looking very frustrated. He was trying to explain his predicament to his boss. "It's like this, Cap. Johnny is bored silly. His hand is going to take another week healing before he can go back to work. His back and shoulder are healed, he's walking great and the doctor cleared him for riding and running last week. He just has that pesky cut to worry about. My big problem is that he needs something to keep him busy. He's been having these dreams from when he first came to L.A.. Cap, what I am about to tell you must not go beyond this room, okay?"

Hank shook his head in agreement. "I promise, not a word to anyone. Roy, tell me this first. Is what you have to say going to affect John's position with the department?"

"Not directly, no. It might though change the way you see him. You see, I was just out of the academy when I was on a rescue at this fire. I found this kid hiding in the house. After getting him out, I rode with him to the hospital, he was really agitated you see and for some reason, he calmed down when I talked to him. He was pretty well stoned at that time. He was doing Morphine and smoking pot. The kids name was John Gage. I met him when he was 15 and I was almost 21. Jo was expecting Chris at the time but she took that boy into her heart. You might say that I fell for Johnny long before he really knew me. You see after he was released from the hospital he was sent to live with his aunt in Santa Barbara, only he spent more time down here then up there. He was getting deeper and deeper into drugs. I talked him into getting help on the fourth of July in '63. He agreed to go into rehab. He stayed in L.A. for 6 months. His aunt moved down here and got a job at the hospital to help pay for the treatments and to afford a place to stay. I helped out Johnny as best as I could on my days off. Jo also helped. We took the boy and his aunt into our family. That was in July, come January, Johnny was ready to go back to Santa Barbara. He didn't return for nearly 3 years. Apparently during that time he forgot about me and Jo and all the people he'd met at Rampart. That is until a few weeks ago when the dreams came. It's only a matter of time until he remembers me." Roy's voice faded off.

Hank looked at Roy, he couldn't believe what his Senior paramedic just told him. "You mean to tell me that John Gage had a problem with drugs when he was a kid?"

"Yes Cap. Now, I asked around and found out that since he was under 18 years of age, the County can not fire him. That's not what I am really worried about. I am worried that he will remember how we felt about each other back then. I was into my marriage at the time and he was under age so I never acted upon my feelings, but he tried to." Roy sank back into the chair he had been sitting in, "I need to find something that he can do to keep him busy and tire him out."

"What does Brackett say. Did you ask if he needed help with the next batch of paramedics?"

"You know Cap. I never thought of that. That's a great idea. Look, I've taken up enough of your time. I'll be back in three days. I have to call Brackett and line something up for Johnny." Roy turned and waved as he walked out the door. He still had a slight limp from the broken legs but they had healed nicely and he was release to go back to work.

*****

Dr. Brackett agreed with Roy to put Johnny to work. Johnny started the next day. He was teamed with Morton and were teaching basic life saving skills to the new class. They were in their first week of the twelve week course. Johnny was so happy to have something to finally do.

While on lunch break Johnny and Dixie were having lunch in the cafeteria when Dr. Wilson walked in. Seeing his former patient sitting with the head nurse made him angry for some reason. He walked over to their table and looked at both of the occupants, "Mind if I join in?"

Johnny looked from the doctor to Dixie, "Uh sure Doc. Uh, Doc, were you the one who operated on me? That time is real hazy to me."

Dr. Wilson looked down at his plate then back up to Johnny, "Yes John, that was me. How are you doing now?"

"I'm fine doc. My back is fine and my shoulder is back to normal. I only have to wait for this damn cut on my hand to heal, then it's back to work I go. In the mean time, I'm helping Brackett and Morton with the new batch of trainees for my sanity, and Roy's." Johnny blushed at this last part.

"Oh, how is Roy?"

"He's just fine. He's returning to work tomorrow. His legs healed faster then they expected. I think it was the thought of being home with me all the time that caused the healing to go that fast." Johnny let a giggle out when he said this.

"That's good to hear." Wilson didn't sound too sincere. He looked at Dixie and saw that she wasn't really paying him any attention. 'Damn you woman, when are you going to notice me?' was the thought going through his head.

Dixie was paged to return to the ER and Johnny had to go back to the students for their next class. Wilson watched as Dixie ran a hand through Johnny's hair as she walked away. Johnny smiled his famous smile at the blonde nurse. He then winked at her. Wilson started seething as he too got up to head back to the orthopedics floor. He had two surgeries and three arms to set that afternoon.

Johnny went back to help with the CPR class with out any clue as to how that innocent act between friends effected the doctor who had fixed his back and set his shoulder.

Part: 12

Johnny spent a total of two weeks at Rampart helping with the new trainees. His hand healed slower than expected and needed the stitches replaced once when he pulled two out refereeing a 'discussion' between two of the students.

Finally he was released to go back to work. He had spent a total of five and a half months on injured status and he was so relieved to be off of it. Roy had only spent just shy of five months out of work as well. Now they were both back at 51's and much happier to be around.

No one was happier to see the paramedics back than one Chester B. Kelly, all around nice guy and total pain in the ass. He's a good firefighter though. He was so looking forward to bringing the phantom out of hibernation and tormenting his favorite pigeon.

Mike Stoker was the first to greet Johnny when he came into the dayroom. Handing his friend a cup of coffee, Mike smiled at Johnny and welcomed him back. "Missed ya John. It's been too quiet around here."

Marco entered and a big grin spread over his face. "Johnny! Mi amigo, good to see ya buddy. How's the back and hand doin'?"

"Well Marco, my back is 100 percent and my hand is permanently scarred. Other than that I am bueno."

Marco laughed at Johnny's exuberance. Roy sat at the table just watching all that was going on. The only person missing was Chet, he was MIA at the time.

As if summoned by unknown forces, Chet Kelly entered the room. He was quite agitated and went around peering into cupboards and in the canisters on the counter. He rifled through drawers and finally spread out his arms and looked to the sky "Why me, God, why me?"

"What's wrong Kelly?" Captain Stanley questioned as he came into the room.

"Uh, nothing Cap." Chet was totally flustered. He went over to the couch and began tearing it apart, looking under the cushions and underneath, bodily moving Henry to get to the ones he was lying on. "Damn. I know it's got to be here somewhere." He muttered to himself. Looking over to the table he saw that Johnny was going out of his way to not look like he knew what was happening.

Chet stomped over to Gage. "All right Gage! What did you do with it?" He poked his right index finger into Johnny's chest for emphasis.

Johnny did his utter best to look innocent as he looked at Chet. "Where's what Chet. I have no idea what you are talking about. And kindly keep your finger to yourself."

Chet flipped Johnny the bird as he left the room muttering about his lost badge.

Johnny dropped back into his chair and reached into his right front pocket showing all his coworkers Chet's missing piece of his uniform. "I do believe I got him." was all Johnny had to say.

Hank looked at Johnny and winked. He then got up and headed towards his office so he could laugh in peace. All the other men in the room busted out laughing. Chet, hearing them carrying on, ran into the room and saw Johnny sitting there holding his badge. "All right Gage. That's not very funny. I have just spent an hour looking for my damn badge and you had it all the time! I just can not believe you're so juvenile."

Everyone in the room became quiet. They watched as Chet took out his anger on Johnny. Johnny did nothing to defend himself. He tossed the badge down on the table and stood up. Looking down he turned and walked out of the room. He had just wanted to give Kelly a taste of his own medicine. He couldn't believe that nobody would stick up for what he'd done. Instead his shift mates had decided to be quiet. 'Even Roy didn't say anything to back me up. I must be stupid or something to think that I can out wit the Phantom'. Johnny sulked off to the locker room where he placed himself into his locker where he let the silent tears fall.

Roy looked at Chet with loathing. "He was just pulling a prank, Kelly, something you've done to him numerous times. Yet when it comes back to bite you, you throw a fit. Johnny has taken what you've dished out every time and yet has never thrown it back to you. You should be happy that all he took was your badge and he didn't decide to do what he wanted to do in the first place, take your entire uniform." Roy couldn't say anymore. He stalked out of the room and went looking for his wayward lover.

Roy entered the locker room and saw Johnny sitting in his locker. He approached making noise as he walked over. "Hey Johnny, did I do something to upset you?"

"No Roy, you did nothing. That's why I am upset. You and the rest of the guys just sat there. Why didn't you back me up?" Johnny gave into the tears again as he thought how everything in his life was always black. He never got the upper hand on anything. His attempts at getting back at Chet never worked.

Roy attempted to pull Johnny out of the locker. He was met by total resistance from his lover. "Come on Johnny. You can't stay in the locker all day. We need to go to Rampart to get supplies and we have to clean the dorm."

"All right." Came his reply, he sounded totally dejected and down.

Roy led the way out to the bay, getting behind the wheel of the squad waiting for Johnny. Hank came out of his office and walked over to the drivers side and Roy, "How is he?"

"Very upset. I think he feels that we should've vocally taken his side. Instead we opted to say nothing. Now Johnny's upset and Chet is being an asshole over the whole ordeal. I'm going to take him to Rampart and see if the ride settles him down." Roy said in a quiet voice.

Johnny arrived at the vehicle just as Roy finished his statement. "Let's go Roy." Johnny hopped into the passenger seat, laid his head back and sighed.

Roy shrugged his shoulders at his captain and started the engine. Leaving the station and Chet Kelly behind, Roy felt Johnny relax. When Johnny relaxed, Roy relaxed. The drive to the hospital was done in silence. Neither man really wanting to say anything.

*****

Nurse Dixie McCall greeted her two favorite paramedics without her usual smile. She'd been up most of the night nursing a stuffy head and scratchy throat. Because they were shor