May 27^th…2000…

         The school felt like a ghost town as he wheeled his way down the empty halls. Sure there were a few janitorial people, but most of the staff and all the students were home enjoying their friends and family. Later tonight he'd be doing the same thing, but now…now was time for saying good bye and ending another chapter of his life as John Gage, English Teacher. For the past twelve years he had been helping shape young minds, the past seven in this very building.

         As Johnny rolled into his class room to gather the last of his things, he couldn't help the nostalgia that overcame him. It felts as if it were only yesterday that he rolled in here as the newest English teacher for Hamilton Prep. His eyes could see all the changes that had occurred because of time or a student, as well as notice all that had remained the same.

         He rolled in slowly, glad that Brad had okayed him coming here today. He wanted to do this alone; he even told Roy he'd see him later. He needed the time to deal with the change in his life that was about to occur as well as bury some ghosts. He didn't fully understand his reasoning for being here on a Saturday, when he could have done all this Friday, but he couldn't bring himself to do it in front of all the staff and kids. He was touched by the little party some of the students threw for him and the gifts; it was nice to know he would be missed by them. Tonight Roy and Brad had arranged his retirement party where most of the staff would be and he'd have his good byes with them. Now was for him and here.

         He rolled up to his desk and spotted a book with a bow on it, next to the box of items he had gathered previously. He picked it up and read the title: Forever Yours (A collection of inspirational writings and poems.)  Johnny smiled, wondering who gave it to him. He looked over the book when the name of the author struck him; Michael Taylor. He could feel his heart start to beat rapidly and his emotions heighten with anticipation. "Michael," he called out, in a dash of desperation that perhaps he was still here; it had been seven years since he had seen him…loved him.

         "Heard you were retiring," the same softly accented voice that still lingered in his dreams came floating from the back of the room.

         Johnny's eyes went wide as he saw the man that held a secret part of his heart once again float into the room as if he were nothing more than a dream, and in many ways he was and always would be. "Michael," he smiled, all of the old emotions returning as if it were only yesterday he had seen this beautiful young man enter this very classroom. Though in many ways he seemed the same, he was a tad bit heavier though still toned and only aura of maturity truly showed the change in his appearance as he walked in, wearing a slimming black suit and tie. He looked like he could be a secret service agent as he was fit and his eyes remaining intensely blue…and glued on him. It was that smile that always melted his heart, its dimples bringing a whole new dimension to his already charming face, which now sported a thin trim goatee; very dashing indeed.  

         "Still beautiful, even after all these years," Michael smiled his face lighting up a bit more with each step.

         "That should be my line," Johnny grinned, feeling his breathing hitch as the tall wonder came closer. Once again he was mesmerized by this young man as he stepped even closer and leaned down and then kissed him. It was soft and tender, full of love and memories. Johnny couldn't help it, he pulled Michael down and soon he felt the weight of the young man straddling him as the kiss deepened; he felt Michael's hands wrap around him, pulling him closer, then one hand in his hair, holding him in place as Michael showed he learned a few things over the years in the skill of kissing; not that he had any difficulties seven years ago.

         Air finally drove the two men apart, though Johnny held Michael close and Michael was more than content to be where he was. "See some things have improved with age," Johnny teased.

         "That should be my line," Michael teased and both men laughed. He caressed Johnny's face, looking only slightly older than the last time he'd seen it in person. He had a picture of Johnny and one of the two of them; he carried it everywhere in his wallet. "How you doing, love," he asked, his eyes drinking in the man that even after all these years still rocked his world.

         Johnny leaned into the caress, not realizing how deeply he missed this man. "Other than tired of dealing with bozos, I'm fine…really," he replied, not wanting Michael to worry for nothing, he was in rather good shape for a man of his age and condition. "How are you? I thought you be a doctor by now, though I can see author too," he grinned, his eyes savoring the soft beauty before him. "In seven years there's been no one who compares to your writing," he whispered, unable to resist and kiss this man once again, refreshing the taste of him.

         "Actually, I am a doctor and you may have heard of the place I'm working at…the Mayo Clinic," Michael grinned. "As of this past week, one of the top specialists in Neurology, specifically dealing with spinal injuries," he stated proudly.

         "Wow, and you managed to write a book too," Johnny chuckled. "Is there anything you can't do," he teased.

         Michael simply blushed and looked away, for he wanted to say, "Yeah, have you," but he remained silent. When he looked up he gave a tiny sigh, "The book wrote itself, all I had to do was find someone to publish it. Go on…open it," he encouraged.

         Johnny reached over to his desk and picked up the slightly slim book and its smooth cover and opened it to the very first page and read the dedication as there was additional writing underneath. "To Johnny, for inspiring my heart and passions to new heights and forever changing my soul," Johnny spoke, reading the print, and then he read the addition made recently. "Forever you will be the love of my life. Consider this a token of my affection…and everything more." Johnny felt his eyes well up with unshed tears. The words touched him deeply as did the impact of how Michael still felt for him and it also solved the mystery of who gave him that book of Shakespeare seven years ago, that now sat on the side of his box, well read over the years. "Oh, Michael," he replied, caressing this special man's face. He would read and cherish this book, but that was for later, for other private times, now was to enjoy another look into what would never be. "Tell me you found someone," he asked, wanting to see this beautiful special soul happy.

         "Of course I did," Michael replied, though his eyes showed the other half of that comment, in that they didn't stay in his life. How could he tell Johnny that every man he meets gets compared to him; and all fall short? That he 'wasn't' prefect as he was obsessed with a dream that could never be. John Gage held his heart and a piece of his soul and always would. How could he say this? How could he tell Johnny that he had gotten so obsessed that once he became a full doctor, he dug into Johnny's medical files to discover that Johnny 'didn't have to be paralyzed, that a small procedure would have made the difference? Of course Brackett had done his best; it was not his fault or anyone's for not knowing about the experimental proceeded. That's why he worked for the clinic and traveled all around…to make sure doctors 'did' know of the latest techniques. No, he couldn't share that; there was no point really and would change nothing, as it was too late…in all areas.

         "Oh Michael," Johnny whispered, having seen much of the truth in his eyes. "You are way too special to spend it alone," he added tenderly, tracing his lips with his thumb.

         Michael shrugged, "It's okay, besides I travel a lot, as I instruct doctors and hospitals in new techniques."

         "And the book, doing any promoting," Johnny asked as he was soon to be a published writer himself.

         "No, my book isn't the type to warrant such hype. But I hear you my love, have sold out," he teased.

         Johnny chuckled as he gasped, "Someone's been keeping track, huh?"

         "Sort of, just chatted with some old acquaintances while here," he lied. He didn't have Johnny followed or anything like that, he just kept tabs on him; it was important that he was well and happy. That's how he knew to be here today, for he didn't think it would be a good idea for them to meet at the party; it would disrespect Roy, and over the years he knew it was best to accept that the best man won long before he got on the scene.

         Being so close to Johnny again was playing havoc with his senses and he just had to kiss him again and did so. Once more the two men got lost in a deep lip-lock. When it ended, again the need for air, both men looked flushed and Michael could feel Johnny's arrival. "You know the one thing I wanted to do in our time together that we never did," Michael panted, unable to resist caressing the still strong and sexy chest of the man before him.

         "What's that," Johnny panted, finding his hands full of a still firm and tight ass, the electricity once more surging between them.

         "Just…and…old fashion…lap dance," Michael panted as he started rubbing his heated groin against Johnny's, while removing his jacket, uncaring if it fell on the floor.

         Johnny moaned as he felt the hardness pressing against him. He instinctively pressed Michael closer, caressing the broad back, "perhaps we…shouldn't…oh, Michael," he gasped as his young lover traced his lips with his tongue and palmed both of his nipples through his shirt.

         "One last night, love," he whispered, feeling Johnny capitulate to his ministrations the siren call of their bodies. "Let me love you one last time," he breathed in his love's ear. "Just a little," he added, as they would not be able to do much with Johnny's condition and location, but they would have something, it was demanded not only by their hard bodies, but their spirits.

         Johnny kissed Michael deeply once more then with willpower he wasn't sure he had had before, he gently pushed Michael away and off his lap. "I'm sorry, precious, but I can't. Not here, not now…not ever again," Johnny told him gently. He took Michael's hand and held it to his lips. "I will always love you, but…"

         Michael looked remorseful, "I know…Roy," he replied, a slight smirk of understanding in his tone.

         "Just because I love you, has not changed the fact that I love Roy; he's my everything. For awhile I thought I might lose him…I wouldn't survive losing him, Michael, I knew it then and I know it now. I'm not saying what we shared was a mistake, and honestly I wouldn't trade those months for anything, but…I can't repeat it or the guilt I felt afterwards…I'm…I'm sorry."

         Michael knelt down and kissed the same hand that Johnny was using to hold him, "don't be, I should have not pushed it," he replied, not wanting to see anything but joy on those lovely dark eyes. “It's…just that a part of me will always love you, John Gage," he confessed.

         Johnny curled his fingers and used the back of his hand as he caressed Michael's face, "and a part of me will always love you, too, but it was not meant to be. Please, Michael, please, let go and move on. I would hate to think of you being alone because of me."

         Michael lowered his head, "Johnny, I just…"

         "Love, look at me," Johnny encouraged, lifting his chin. "Take what we shared and build 'on' it, not around it, please," Johnny asked, his heart aching at the thought he might had done more harm than good loving this young man. "Promise me," he asked, needing to make sure Michael would at least try.

         Michael sighed, thinking that perhaps Johnny was right. He could at least try, "I promise," he replied after a long moment, and then stood up, grabbing his jacket. "You should get going, Roy will get worried if you’re out too long, for I doubt he's changed that much," he teased.

         "Well, he has, he's just gotten worse in the worry department," Johnny and Michael laughed at that. "Do you think we might be able to stay in touch this time," he asked, still wanting some connection to this man.

         "I don't see why not," Michael replied and pulled out his wallet and pulled out a card, making sure Johnny didn't see the picture of them together. "I'll give you my card," he said as he pulled out a pen. On the back he added 'every' method possible to reach him; email, cell, home address and his parents number. "One of these should be able to reach me," he smiled handing it over to Johnny.

         Johnny took the card and pulled his own wallet out, which also had a picture of the two of them, behind one of him and Roy, and placed it inside. "Here," he said pulling out one of his own, and grabbed Michael's pen. "You can reach me here and the email on the card," he said, giving out his cell phone and the house number again. The card had the office number and email address, though he added his more personal email as well, then handed it to Michael.

         Michael took the card and placed it behind the picture of him and Johnny. He knew then that the most they would ever have would be a special friendship, and he could accept that…now. Johnny was right, it was just not meant to be. "You know, in the next life, I'll just have to make sure I find you first," he said, not realizing he said that out loud until Johnny started laughing, causing him to blush.

         "Come on, you can help me carry things out to the car, save me a trip," Johnny chuckled. "Will I see you at the party," he asked as he handed the box over to Michael as he searched for anything he forgot, placing the new book in his bag.

         "No, I thought it best to see you here, Roy never was comfortable with me and I was never sure…"

         "No, I never told him and I don't plan to ever do that. As I said, I can't afford to lose him, nor do I want to hurt him…or you," he replied, sharing one last tender look with Michael.

         "Why don't you search around and I'll go put this in your car," Michael informed him, then leaned in and stole one last kiss and left.

         Somehow Johnny knew that Michael would not be there when he arrived at his car, and it was most likely the last time he'd see him again. He gave his room one last look and gathered anything he really wanted and rolled out and closed the door for the last time. He got the keys together as he went down the elevator, so he could give them to Brad tonight. He rolled out of the building and sure enough, the box was in the front seat and Michael Taylor was gone…but he knew, never forgotten.

THE END.

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