Of Mice and Jingles
copyright 2001

 

Johnny Gage was sitting on the bench in the locker room at Station 51 singing to himself. Roy pushed the door from the dorm room open quietly and listened to his friend. He hadn't told Johnny yet how he felt, but he knew that for now, just standing here watching the man he cared more about than anything was enough.

Roy firmly believed that there was no way for Johnny to have the same feelings. That is until he heard what Johnny was softly singing.

Johnny smiled as he started the song over again. "Oh I wish I were Oscar Meyers Weiner. That is what I'd truly like to be. 'Cuz if I were Oscar Meyers Weiner. Roy would then take a big bite outta me." Johnny softly laughed at his little ditty, even if he did rip off the tune and some of the words from a popular Hot Dog commercial.

Roy had to stifle his laughter as he listened to the little ditty. To him this sounded like something his son or daughter would make up, until he heard the last part. His face turned red and he let the door close after him.

"I can't believe it!" Roy said to himself. "He does feel the same way as I do. Now, how do I tell him that I know?"

^^^^^^^^

So, Roy was left to figure out how to tell Johnny that he knew how he felt and that he felt the same. For this level of thinking, Roy needed to be left alone and that meant no runs or interruptions from any of the crew.

Roy sat on his bunk and thought. He thought and he thought. He even thought.

He never came up with an answer. What he got instead was a stiff neck and a sore butt.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny continued to sing away in the locker room, doing his best to murder famous jingles he'd heard on television and the radio.

"My president has a first name. It's G-E-R-A-L-D. My president has a second name it's F-O-R-D. I hate to see him everyday and if you ask me why, I'll say: Cuz Gerald Ford has a way with screwin up the USA." Again Johnny giggled as he cleaned the locker room and his locker. His thoughts slowly turned to Roy and what he had planned for their three day weekend.

Memorial Day was coming up and they had drawn the day off. So they had that whole three day weekend off. Johnny wanted to go camping and he wanted to do it with Roy, but he knew that Roy probably had family plans as Johnny remembered hearing Roy bitch about his wife's bitching that Roy never does anything with the family any more.

Roy was thinking that he needed a way to get away from Joann for the long weekend. He figured that Johnny would go camping. 'Maybe I'll ask him if he wants some company. Maybe even take the kids.' Roy thought.

^^^^^^^^

Roy pulled up to his two story house at eight-thirty that morning. He noticed that the paper was still on the sidewalk so he figured that Jo and the kids were not awake yet.

"Hello, anybody home?" Roy called out as he entered the house. No one answered.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny was startled awake by the jangling phone. "Shit!" He exclaimed, "I fell asleep."

Roy was on the other end of the phone trying to keep his voice steady. He almost lost it when he heard Johnny's mumbled greeting.

" 'Lo, this better be a fuckin emergency!" Johnny was slowly pulling himself awake.

"Johnny? Did I wake you?" Roy started. "Shit, I did. I'm sorry."

Johnny detected the tears in the man's voice. "Roy, whatza matter?"

"She left me for a fuckin Jingle Writer!" Was all Roy could get out.

"Roy, you aren't makin much sense. Are you saying that Joann left you for a person who writes commercials?" Johnny just couldn't believe that Jo would be that callous.

"Yes, his name is Barry Something or Other. (Note to readers, NO I do not mean Barry Manilow.) He wrote that stupid jingle for Stewey's Used Cars. You know the one?" Roy knew that he partner and best friend had memorized just about all the jingles out there.

"Yea, I know the one. If you want a car that'll get you far. Go to Stewey's Motor Town." Johnny sang.

"Yup, that's the one. Oh Johnny, what am I going to do?" Roy was now crying his heart out.

"Come on over. You can go camping with me." Johnny said easily.

^^^^^^^^

Roy packed a bag and headed for Johnny's house. He made the forty minute trek in twenty-five. He just wanted to be with the man he loved. He was also hoping that the weekend would be the beginning of something very good.

Meanwhile, Johnny was in the shower washing away his dirt. He was also stuck with that Car Town jingle in his head, so he decided to play with it and what he came up with was a riot.

"If you want a car that won't get you far. Just go to Stewey's Car Town. Here's a man who will let you down, here at Stewey's Car Town." Johnny finally worked the obnoxious song out of his head as he finished showering. He climbed out and got dressed.

Roy showed up shortly after Johnny finished his shower. He was a man of mixed emotions. On one hand he was sad at the loss of his wife, as well as mad at her for taking his kids away from him. On the other hand he was happy to be able to spend the holiday with Johnny.

Johnny smiled when he saw Roy standing there looking like a teenager on his first date. "Well, come in, come in. Make your self at home." Johnny headed for the kitchen and a much needed cup of coffee.

Roy set his bag down then followed his friend. He too needed some coffee. "Hey Johnny? You know any coffee jingles we can desecrate over the weekend?"

"Roy! Why I am shocked that you would ever think such a thing! I for one do not desecrate jingles. I just sing 'em as I hear 'em. I let the changes come from the kids. That way, if Chet hears me, I have someone to blame it on." Johnny explained.

Roy smiled that smile that he saved only for the ones he loved. Johnny smiled back. Not his usual crooked smile mind you, but a GENUINE smile. He then had to start singing the Burger King commercial as he headed out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders do upset us. All we ask is that you let us throw it away. Are you hungry for Burger King now?" Johnny again started giggling.

As Johnny giggled, Roy began to question the actual age of his friend.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny had his Rover loaded in no time and then he and Roy headed into the woods.

"Just do me this one favor, okay?" Roy looked Johnny in the eye as he was getting ready to start the engine.

"Anything for you Roy." Johnny stated.

"Please, do not sing anymore jingles, at least until we get to the camp site. Okay?" Roy practically begged.

"Sure Pally." Johnny smiled that smile again and headed on out.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny started out quiet. Honestly. Roy talked to him about his kids and how he was going to miss them this weekend. He had planned on taking them to Disneyland but then he had thought about joining Johnny camping.

Johnny didn't seem to hear Roy as he listened to the commercial that came on the Rock and Roll station he was tuned to. All of a sudden Johnny just let it rip.

"It's not a cola, there's cola by the score. So drink Dr. Pepper, the joy of every boy and girl. It's the most original soft drink ever in the whole, wide, world. Dr. Pepper." Johnny sang his little heart out.

He turned to look at Roy, "Roy? You all right?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Roy wiped his eyes.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I'll turn off the radio and be quiet as a mouse." Johnny felt bad that he'd forgotten Roy's slight dilemma.

"It's okay Johnny." Roy smiles at him.

"Well, we'll be here in a about thirty minutes so I'll be quiet." Johnny turns and faces the road not saying anything for the rest of the drive.

Roy felt bad about the way he'd acted but he couldn't get Johnny to talk at all.

^^^^^^^^

Upon arriving at the campsite, Johnny jumped out and started unloading the Rover. Roy went out and gathered a couple of arm loads of firewood.

Johnny had the tent up in no time at all. He hoped Roy wouldn't mind sharing. He was just laying out the sleeping bags when Roy got back with the second load of wood.

"So, do you want hot dogs or bologna sandwiches for dinner tonight?" Johnny asked Roy.

Roy looked at Johnny and just lost it. He busted up laughing. "I heard you singing about Oscar Meyer's Weiner and the bologna song. Where in the world do you really come up with those words?"

"I told ya Roy. Kids. If you just sat and listened to kids you hear them talking about the damdest things. And the songs. I tell ya, I could not come up with half the parodies that I know, why I'd be rich." Johnny looked Roy straight in the eye with not a smile anywhere.

"Really. Whose kids?" Roy was afraid of the answer.

"Mostly Mikes and these kids down the road from me. I learned the Oscar Meyer one from Christopher. If I were you, I'd be worried." Johnny laughed at this one.

"Chris taught you that?" Roy asked. His face red with fury.

"Yea, we were sitting on the deck watching you try to wash the dog when Chris started humming then singing. He taught me the words, I just changed the last part." Johnny was now almost as red as Roy.

"I am going to kill that bugger." Roy was now laughing at what his son had done.

They actually had burgers for dinner as they weren't planning on catching any fish til the next day.

They sat around the fire until they were both almost asleep.

"Uh, Roy, I only have the one tent and it's kinda small. I hope you don't mind sharing." Johnny was able to get out.

"No Johnny, I don't mind sharing." Roy stood and went into the tent. He stripped down to his shorts and crawled into his sleeping bag.

Johnny soon followed suit after dowsed the fire with water. He stripped outside the tent and crawled into his sleeping bag.

^^^^^^^^

Roy woke up having heard something. He tried to move but he had a heavy weight on his chest. He looked down and saw Johnny lying half on and half off his chest.

He then felt something else, he was hard as a rock. He wanted nothing more than to relieve it. He tried to move Johnny off him so he could go out and find a tree to christen.

Johnny groaned as Roy tried to move him. He lifted his head as he came awake. "What?"

"Get off me Johnny, I need to piss." Roy pushed a little harder.

Johnny got up and let Roy move.

Roy scrambled out of the tent. Johnny laughed after him.

^^^^^^^^

They spent the first full day at the site just fishing and taking in all the fresh air and sunshine. They talked about almost nothing while saying everything.

The second night was less embarrassing. Both men stripped outside at the same time and entered the tent one after another. This time they did not wait until they were totally exhausted.

Roy lay there listening to Johnny hum his jingles. (At least now he wasn't singing 'em). Roy was finding that he was enjoying Johnny's distracted way of mixing in the little songs no matter what he was doing.

"Roy?" Johnny whispered.

"What?" Roy whispered back.

"I really am sorry about Joann. I wish there was something I could do to help you." Johnny spoke a little louder.

"Just being here with me is enough, Junior. Thank you for your support." Roy moved over just enough that he could lay a hand on Johnny's arm.

Johnny brought up his hand and laid it on Roy's exposed bare chest. He let his fingers roam through the soft fur covering his friends chest.

Roy's hand moved up and down the arm it was lying on. "Uh, Johnny?"

"Shh, I'm exploring here." He then started softly humming the Libby's juice jingle.

Roy giggled softly as the combination of the hand and the humming relaxed him. He turned onto his right side and pulled Johnny close to him.

"I see the only way to get you to stop it with the damn jingles is to do this." Roy then took Johnny's lips in his.

Johnny gasped at first then gave in and started returning the kiss passionately.

They pulled apart with the need to breathe. Roy's chest was heaving. "Wow! It worked!"

"I'll say. I'll never look at another jingle again." Johnny giggled.

"I was listening to you the other day with that Oscar Meyer song. I sorta heard the whole thing." Roy said.

"Oh, yeah. That. Listen Roy, I, uh...." Johnny was cut off again by Roy kissing him.

"I liked what I heard." Roy stated.

"Oh," Johnny squeaked.

Roy felt Johnny's hand head south, he grasped the wrist and led the way.

Johnny gasped as his hand brushed against Roy's hard cock. "Roy." He mumbled.

Roy grinned around the kiss as he guided Johnny's hand to do what he wanted done.

Soon both men had their hands full. They took their time and brought each other to thundering climaxes at the same time.

And just to think, not a jingle came out of Johnny.

They drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny woke up the next morning and watched Roy sleep. He always like watching his friend and now lover, sleep. He did it at the station as often as he could.

Roy woke with the feeling that someone was watching him. He smiled when he saw Johnny's brown eyes watching him.

"Morning." Johnny said around a yawn.

"Morning." Roy replied then gently kissed Johnny's lips.

They took a while getting started that morning as they seemed to keep getting side tracked.

Needless to say, the fish were safe that day and the jingles were quieted.

^^^^^^^^

They spent the last day fishing side by side on the bank of the river. They set the poles in the holders on their chairs and held hands. They talked of the future.

"You gonna keep the house, Roy?" Johnny asked.

"No. I'll see if Jo wants it and if she does I'll sell to the asshole who took her and my kids at an inflated price. If she doesn't, well, it is in my name alone and even thought if falls under community property, I will still keep more than half the proceeds. What I need to figure out is where do I go?" Roy was trying to keep the strong rough emotions out of his voice.

"Ah, Roy, that's easy. I have plenty of room and a Queen size bed." Was all Johnny had to say. Roy turned and pulled Johnny out of his chair and onto his lap.

The fish weren't the only things biting that afternoon.

^^^^^^^^

The drive back to L.A. was spent planning their future together. Johnny had just bought a house on six acres that included a small lake that was fed from a stream that ran down from the mountains.

Roy watched as Johnny drove them towards the city. He reached over and turned on the radio hoping to hear some of those jingles that Johnny liked to sing so much.

Soon enough a commercial came on the light Rock station that Johnny listened to when he drove. And sure enough, Johnny started singing.

"I am stuck on a band-aid cuz my band-aids stuck on me." Johnny was trying to make his very adult tenor voice sound like the children's alto's that were singing. He failed miserably.

Soon they pulled up to Roy's house. There was a note pinned to the front door. Roy approached the door as if it would bite. He pulled the note down and started reading it.

'Roy,
I took the kids and moved in with Barry McKnight. He has a job where I don't have to worry about him coming home every night. As well as a home in the hills that beats this house all to hell. Keep the house, I already got what I wanted. It was so nice of you to be gone this weekend so I could come and get the things we needed without fighting you.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer in a few days.
Joann'

Roy then opened the door to an empty living room. All the furniture that he had worked so hard and long for, gone. He sank to the floor as the message finally sunk in. Jo was gone for good, as were the kids.

Johnny, who'd been watching from his vehicle, saw Roy sink to the floor of the house after he'd opened the door.

Johnny jumped from the car and ran to his friend. He saw the empty room and sank down next to Roy. "Oh, Roy."

"She took everything I worked so hard for. She told me to keep the house." Roy stood up and walked through the two story structure that had been his home for the past seven years. The dining room table was gone, as was the hutch that had held the dishes that Roy's mother had given him when he'd first married Jo. The kitchen too was devoid of it's furniture and oddly enough the appliances were also gone. The cupboards stood open displaying their empty shells.

Roy turned and ran up the stairs two at a time. He stopped first at Christopher's room. The room was empty, the new bunk beds were gone as well as the desk and dresser. Jenny's room was also empty.

When he got to the master bedroom, he was not surprised to see that the only things left were his dresser and his clothes.

Johnny followed Roy around the house as he checked each room. Roy finally stopped at his room and surveyed the carnage. Jo had left him with nothing but the clothes he wore and one piece of furniture.

Johnny pulled Roy into his arms and held him as he cried out his grief. Grief that Johnny had held at bay with an awakening weekend that he would never forget.

Johnny softly started singing the Oscar Meyer jingle with his own special words. He sang it over and over as he rocked his love in his arms.

^^^^^^^^

Roy moved in with Johnny that day. They went back to work the next morning.

"Hey, Roy, how was your weekend?" Chet asked innocently enough.

"Just peachy!" Roy spat out. "My wife left me for a jingle writer and on top of that the bitch cleaned out my house!"

Now, no one at the station had ever heard anything that harsh come out of the soft spoken man. Chet and Marco cringed. Mike just sat there.

"Do you need a lawyer?" Mike asked quietly.

"Do you know any?" Roy asked back.

"As a matter of fact I do. His name is probably familiar to you, Roy as you two served together in 'Nam. It's Brandon Chaney." Mike smiled at Roy.

Roy smiled at Mike and thanked the quiet engineer. He didn't bother asking how he knew him.

Just then Johnny sauntered in with yet another rousing rendition of yet another jingle mangled to his own likes.

"Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame street bum." Johnny giggled yet again.

The men of A-shift were beginning to think that Johnny was going crackers, Ritz crackers that it.

Roy approached Johnny and whispered in his ear "Remember your promise? No more jingles at work?"

Johnny smiled sheepishly and apologized.

^^^^^^^^

Brandon arrived at Johnny's house three days later. Roy was anxiously awaiting his old Army pal. Johnny was just nervous. Roy had put the kibosh on Johnny's singing of jingles that morning.

Just as Brandon walked up the sidewalk, Johnny walked out of the bathroom with a new package of toilet paper in his hand. "Hey, Roy?"

Roy turned around and watched his now lover. "What?"

"Please don't squeeze the Charmin." Johnny walked back up the stairs again giggling. He'd get his fix for commercials one way or another.

^^^^^^^^

"Well, Roy, I talked to Jo's lawyer, and her attorney was the one who told her to empty out the house. He has since been reported to the Bar. He should have waited for you to get a lawyer so that the property could have been divided properly and fairly. As it is, I got your dishes back but nothing else. Jo is aware that she can't get anything from the sale of the house and since she's the one who cheated, she won't get any alimony and only minimal child support." Brandon was looking grim now.

"What about the kids? I want to see my children." Roy said softly.

"I'm sorry Roy, Jo is being very stubborn on this one. She doesn't want you anywhere near the kids for some reason. This will all be covered in Family Court. Now, here's the name of a Realtor who will get you more money than you think possible for this house. Jo gets none of it so use the money wisely." Brandon then put all the papers he had had Roy sign back into his briefcase. Roy thought he was getting ready to leave.

Johnny came into the room with a tray of drinks. He poured Roy and Brandon each a glass of Iced Tea and he had a glass of water for himself.

"So, Johnny, Mikey tells me that you've been sort of hooked on jingles lately. I know how it is when you get those damn things stuck in your head. I went through that a few months ago and nearly drove Mikey up the wall." Brandon smiled, his short blonde hair was giving away his light complexion as he started blushing.

"You and MIKE, MIKE STOKER? You know him well enough to get to call him Mikey? No one calls him Mikey except those at the station." Roy said.

"Well, since he does share more then his nickname with me, I guess you could say I know him so well." Brandon smiled.

"How long?" Johnny asked.

"Long enough." Was all Brandon would say.

Roy and Brandon moved outside to talk and enjoy the warm weather.

They talked of Nam and of the things that followed.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny stood in the kitchen making lunch and humming along with the radio. He missed the jingles so he sang them now that Roy was outside.

"I'd like to teach the world to sing....." Johnny let loose.

Roy heard him and bent towards Brandon. "I wish someone would teach him to sing."

Both men enjoyed a laugh at Johnny's expense.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny stepped out on the deck and watched as Roy and Brandon talked. They were sitting close together.

Johnny thought he'd feel jealous but he didn't. For the first time in his life, he felt secure in his feelings for someone. Roy was his lover and would stay that way.

"So, Brandon, why'd you chose Law?" Johnny asked as he sat down next to Roy on the bench at the picnic table.

"I saw a lot of people hurt by this country after Nam so I thought I'd do something about it. Then I discovered that Divorce Law paid tons more when you dealt solely with Celebrities." Brandon grinned.

"You, you're the one responsible for all those cut throat divorces amongst the stars?" Johnny was clearly in awe of the attorney.

"Yup. And I plan on handling Roy's divorce. This one will be the easiest of cases I've ever had. A clear cut case of adultery on Joann's part. Cut and dry and since she doesn't want the house and has all ready taken the furniture, it's a whole lot easier." Brandon said with an evil grin.

Roy snickered. They'd all ready discussed the case over the phone two days ago. Roy had wanted Brandon to tell Johnny what was happening.

"Wow! I mean that's great! Roy, I guess she's the one that's gonna be taken to the cleaners." Johnny smiled.

"Johnny! I am not taking Joann to the cleaners. She left me remember? I am only getting what is mine. The house. Period." Roy admonished Johnny.

Johnny's face fell as he heard more than the words but the tone that Roy used making Johnny feel like a child. He walked into the house and turned on the stereo. He turned up the volume and tried to drown out the voices he heard in his head.

Johnny sat in his recliner and put on his headphones. He then let the music take him away. He barely listened to the music. He was doing what he would do as a child, he searched out the jingle. The commercial ditties that made Johnny feel better.

The Dr. Pepper commercial came on and Johnny started singing with it. "It's not a cola, there's cola's by the score. So drink Dr. Pepper, the joy of every boy and girl. It's the most original soft drink ever in the whole wide world. Dr. Pepper."

Roy sat outside and listened as Johnny sang noting the sad quality to his lovers voice. He excused himself and headed into the house.

He saw his happy go lucky lover sitting in his chair crying. He walked over to him and gently laid his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Shh, it's okay."

Johnny looked up at Roy. "I'm sorry." He then pulled the headphones back down and resumed listening for the next commercial to come on.

^^^^^^^^

Roy was sitting at the picnic table lost in thought. Brandon looked at his friend and saw a look he hadn't seen since 'Nam. "Roy? What's wrong?"

"Johnny is upset about something. I think it's because of something I said. I don't know. He's exhibiting some strange behavior. Like when I just went in there, he was crying as he listened to those commercials on the radio. I wish I knew what was going on in his brain." Roy was now getting upset himself.

"How long have you known Johnny, Roy?" Brandon asked.

"Almost four years." Roy stated.

"What do you know about Johnny's earlier years?" Brandon thought he knew what the problem was.

"Next to nothing. I ask him and he changes the subject. You don't think it has something to do with when he was a kid do you?" Roy looked like something was dawning in his mind.

"Yes I do. Make him talk to you, Roy. Don't let him blow you off." Brandon was insistent.

"I'll try my best but I have a hard time confronting him. He gets this look that makes me melt." Roy explained.

"You had no problem confronting that, what'd you call him, rat bastard, Jimmy Schneider in 'Nam." Brandon stated.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't in love with that rat bastard." Roy said.

"You got a point there. Look, all I'm saying is that you need to get him to open up to you so that the pain he's feeling will go away. He needs someone to take him by the hand and show him how to live." Brandon explained what he was trying to get at.

"I'll try. I know what you're trying to tell me, I just hope it'll work." Roy sat there pondering what he was going to do.

"What's this thing with him singing those jingles?" Brandon finally got around to the question he'd been wanting to ask since he'd heard Johnny sing.

"I think it's his way of blocking out the bad thoughts that fill his head. You see, Johnny's brain never stops. He is constantly on the go. He is the most hyper of people I know. You want him to calm down, you either plug him in to the stereo or you fuck him through the floor." Roy smiled at that last thought.

"Yea, I can imagine. So, you and Johnny, tomorrow night, dinner with me and Mike." Brandon said as he stood to leave.

"Sure. It was good seeing you again Brandon. We have definitely stay in touch." Roy gave his old friend a hug then led the man to his car.

^^^^^^^^

When Roy walked into the house, his ears were assaulted with the Ken L Ration jingle.

"My dog's better than your dog, my dog's better than yours. My dog's better 'cuz he gets Ken L Ration. My dog's better than yours." Johnny was sounding a bit happier as he sang.

Roy walked over to Johnny's chair and squatted down. He then placed his hand on Johnny's leg and his head on the arm of the chair. He sighed when he felt Johnny's hand come to rest on his head.

^^^^^^^^

Roy stayed by the chair for a half hour listening to Johnny humming softly with the songs playing on the radio.

Johnny sang with the commercials quietly but with a lot of feeling.

Roy stood to go make dinner. He watched as Johnny continued to sit in the chair. He was no longer crying but he still looked upset.

'I sure wish you would talk to me.' Roy said to himself.

Three days later found both men back on shift. Roy was even more worried about Johnny now. He would have gone to Captain Stanley, except that he was on vacation with his family for two weeks. He felt that he had to talk to someone before Johnny hurt himself of one of the crew.

Roy finally resigned himself to go talk to the Captain that was filling in. He was a new Captain, just appointed less than six months prior. Roy walked up to the door and knocked.

"Come." Captain Buttz said. He was a around thirty five years old, Blonde haired, blue eyes and built like a Mac truck. Roy had met him at roll call and he was very intimidated.

"Sir? I need to talk to someone about my partner, Johnny." Roy dived right in.

"What's wrong with him?" Captain Seymour Buttz asked.

"Well, he seems depressed and he keeps going around singing jingles. I tell ya, he's driving me batty and if he doesn't talk to someone, I'm afraid of what might happen to him." Roy was trying to not show any fear, he heard that wild animals and men like this could smell fear on a man.

"And that concerns you? Right? Well, what would you like me to do about this?" Buttz was sounding a bit put off.

"Could you talk to him? See if you can get him to open up some and talk about what is bothering him. Maybe then he'll talk to me or seek professional help." Roy was beginning to think that this wasn't a good idea.

"I'll talk to him, DeSoto. Beware though, I will not tolerate a firefighter that is a menace to the team." Buttz stood and signaled for Roy to leave the office.

Roy left and headed into the dayroom. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. He looked around at his fellow firefighters and tried to smile.

"So, any luck shuttin Gage up?" Chet asked.

"Not funny, Kelly." Marco came to Roy's aid.

"No Chet. Johnny's having problems right now, so do us all a favor and leave him alone." Roy turned and headed out to the bay.

"Jeez, whatsa matter with him?" Chet asked the room.

"You." Mike, the man of few if any words, said.

Roy watched as Johnny checked the drug box, he listened and sure enough, Johnny was softly singing his jingles.

"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is." Johnny sang or hummed over and over. He wanted to talk to Roy about what was bugging him but he felt that Roy wouldn't understand.

"Come on Johnny." Roy mumbled.

^^^^^^^^

Johnny finally was ready to talk to Roy. They got off work that morning and headed home. Johnny was nervous but he knew that he had to tell Roy his secret.

Johnny fixed them breakfast as he was sitting down, he drew a deep breath and looked at his plate. "Uh, Roy?" He started.

"Yes, Johnny." Roy looked at his lover and saw the inner struggle that he was going through.

"I want to tell you something, but first I want you to promise me that you won't say anything until I am finished. Do you promise?" Johnny looked at Roy.

"I promise. Johnny anything you tell me will not change how I feel about you." Roy sat there and waited for Johnny to start.

"I miss her Roy. I really, really miss her. She was always there when I was feeling down. She would sit with me and we would watch the afternoon television programs together when I was a kid. That's where I learned about jingles. I loved hearing her sing them with the TV. She even encouraged me to sing as well." Johnny stopped to take a bite of eggs and a drink of juice.

"Who is She?" Roy asked.

"My mom. She died when I was fourteen. She had cancer. Even at her sickest, she'd still sit with me and watch TV." Johnny felt the first hot tears fall down his cheek.

They finished breakfast and Roy led Johnny into the living room. They sat on the couch and cuddled while Johnny told the rest of his story.

"My dad worked the ranch. He was gone from sun up to sun down. He had two people who worked for him as well as me. I did my chores every afternoon after school and then would go in the house. Mom would have a snack waiting for me, usually milk and cookies but sometimes, she would have a slice of cake or pie instead. Then we'd sit down in the living room in front of the TV that dad purchased for the house after a big argument with mom. You see, Dad was happy with the old Atwater-Kent radio. I liked it too. I remember listening to Little Orphan Annie when I was real little. When Pop brought home the TV, Mom was so happy. She turned it on and sat me down on her lap. We watched the evening news that night. I soon discovered The Lone Ranger and Howdy Doody." Johnny was slowly rocking in Roy's arms.

"She sounds like a nice woman." Roy spoke softly.

"Oh, she was, she was. She took away the pain of being different and of putting up with Pops bull shit. She just loved the commercials and when ever I felt down or was sick, she'd sing the little tunes to me and make me feel better." Johnny wasn't crying as hard but he still had tears running down his face.

"What happened lately. You didn't seem unhappy." Roy asked.

"I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to spend my life with you. Then your wife throws that curve ball at you. I thought that maybe now, well you know. Then you almost took my head off the other day when I made that crack about you taking Jo to the cleaners. I honestly didn't mean to make you mad at me. I just have this ability to open up my mouth and next thing I know, I'm in trouble." Johnny wiped his eyes and stood up. "I'm sorry." Johnny then headed upstairs.

Roy sat there thinking. It finally dawned on him that Johnny was afraid that he wasn't loved anymore. He then thought of all the times he had told Johnny to cool it with the jingles. 'Good one DeSoto. Make Johnny think you don't want him anymore.'

Roy knocked on the closed bedroom door. He could hear the soft sobs of his lover crying. All he wanted to do was go in there and love the stuffing out of him.

^^^^^^^^

Roy slowly pushed open the bedroom door. He stood just inside the room and watched Johnny. He was lying on the bed curled up in a ball, the only movement was that of his shoulders each time he took in a hitched breath.

"Johnny?" Roy spoke just a little louder than a whisper. "Babe, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Johnny stretched himself out on the bed and threw his left arm over his face. "I'm okay, Roy. You don't have to worry about me. I got along just fine before and I will again."

"Johnny, you goof. I am not leaving you. No way! I can't be dragged away. I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!" Roy stormed over to the bed. He took Johnny into his arms and held him with all the strength he possessed.

Johnny struggled at first, then finally calmed down. He thought to himself, 'Maybe I am worthy and maybe he does really love me.'

"Johnny, why'd you start in with the jingles?" Roy spoke into Johnny's thick hair.

"I was feeling lost. I wanted you and I missed Mom. I guess I was trying to comfort myself the way Mom did when I was little. Then you and I got together and I became unsure. That day you yelled at me, made me feel alone and scared. I started missing her even more. I'm so sorry I upset you. Really. I guess you could say that I am not feeling very worthy at this time. I promise though that I will do my best to get over this feeling." Johnny reached for a tissue and blew his nose.

"Oh, Johnny. You need never feel unworthy, unwanted or unloved as long as I have something to say about it. I don't ever want you to have to feel this way again. Sing those jingles when you're low. Just be sure to tell me what's bugging you so that we can work it out." Roy started kissing Johnny's face.

Johnny responded to the kisses as their mouths came together, tongues battling for dominance. Roy conceded to Johnny letting the younger man take the lead.

Johnny and Roy came together that night and boy did the fireworks go off!

^^^^^^^^

Roy was sitting at the table in the day room drinking some coffee. He had a satisfied smile on his face. Chet Kelly was sitting across from him with his head in his hands moaning.

"Gage, will you cut it out!!" He yelled at Johnny, who was in the bay checking the drug box.

He was also singing one of his ditties, unfortunately, he didn't know all the words. That didn't stop him. It was something that goes like this:

"What goes down stairs, alone or in pairs? hum hum humm hum hum hum, a spring a spring a wonderful thing. Every one knows it's Slinky."

Roy continued smiling because he knew that his lover had finally found happiness. The night before, they had watched TV in bed and together they had explored the wonderful world of Jingles.

^^^^^^^^

the end ;>)

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