Never Say Die

Johnny wished Roy were there, but he wasn't ready to move in with Johnny yet, so he still had his own place. Johnny rolled over and picked up the phone. First he called the station and talked to Captain Williams, who was subbing for Captain Stanley, who was out on vacation. He then sighed heavily and called Roy.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded sleepy. Johnny just knew he woke his lover and partner up.

"Hi, Roy." Johnny rasped out. "I won't be in today. I'm sick."

"I'll be right there." Roy was already walking towards the dresser.

"You have to work today." Johnny sighed. The thought of his lover being there for him was almost too much to wish for.

"Nope. I need to be with you. Besides, I have today off. Put in for it three weeks ago. Now, you don't worry about anything." Roy pulled his shirt off the hanger and shrugged into it while switching the phone from one ear to anther.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Johnny felt like crying.

"I forgot. I'm sorry, babe. Hang on and I'll take real good care of you." Roy then hung up and went into the bathroom. He took care of business then left his apartment.

Roy arrived thirty minutes later. He pulled his bag out of the trunk and ran up the stairs to Johnny's apartment.

Letting himself into the apartment, he was taken aback by the mess that met him. His usually neat partner's apartment looked like a mess bomb had exploded. Clothes and newspapers were scattered all over the living room and the kitchen was almost as bad with dirty dishes and pans laying around in a sink full of dirty water. Roy got real worried as he headed to the bedroom down the hall.

Johnny was lying in bed feeling miserable. His throat hurt, his head ached and he was pretty sure he was going to die. He felt only a little better when he heard the door open to his apartment. He set the phone back on the side table and snuggled further down into his covers.

"Johnny?" Roy whispered. He took in the sight of his friend, partner and lover. "Hey there." He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers down. Reaching out slowly, he put his right hand on Johnny's forehead. "Little hot there, babe. Let me take your temp."

Johnny sat up a ways and let Roy put the thermometer under his tongue. He tried to smile, but sneezed instead. He took the thermometer out of his mouth and reached for a tissue. After blowing, he shook down the glass stick and stuck it into his mouth.

Roy pulled it out three minutes later. "Yup, just as I thought. A fever of a hundred and two. Let's get you dressed. I'm taking you into the doctor. Kel said that the next time you were sick for more than a day, you were to go see him. I know you were sick our last shift."

Johnny tried to argue, but he just didn't have the strength. "Roy? Why am I so weak?" He couldn't tell Roy that he was glad he showed up when he did. He had had to go to the bathroom for almost an hour but didn't have the strength to go on his own. "Help me into the bathroom please?"

Roy helped Johnny walk down the hallway. He waited outside the door while Johnny pissed then washed his hands. "You all right in there, Junior?"

"Yea," Johnny replied somewhat softly. "Need your help getting dressed though."

Roy helped Johnny dress in sweats and a sweatshirt. He didn't even bother with shoes, just made sure that Johnny was wearing warm socks and his moccasins. "Let's go."

Roy helped Johnny into the back seat of the Rover. He then got in and drove them to Rampart.

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Part two

Dixie McCall and Joe Early were talking at the nurses station when Roy came in. They looked up at the Paramedic. "Not working today?" Joe asked.

"No, can you give me a hand. Kel said that the next time Johnny got sick, he wanted to see him. Since that Virus got him three months ago, we've all been kinda worried. Well, he's sick, very sick. He's having trouble breathing and he's burning up." Roy walked over to an empty gurney and started pushing it towards the door.

Joe and Dixie helped Roy move Johnny from the car to the gurney. Johnny was hugging the blankets close to his body as he shook from fever and struggled to breathe. "Roy?" He whispered.

"It's all right, John." Dr. Early spoke softly. "We'll get you taken care of. Dix, what's open?"

"Two's open, Joe." Dix smoothed the hair off Johnny's forehead. "Hang in there, Tiger."

Thirty minutes later, Johnny was in a bed in the ICU. He had Pneumonia in both lungs and an intestional tract infection which was making his life miserable. His fever was now over a hundred and three. He was on O₂ and in an Oxygen tent to give him humidified O₂. He was also on a cooling blanket as his fever still raged.

Roy sat by his side most of the morning. He got up to call into work to let the Captain and crew know what was going on. He then called Hank Stanley to arrange for a leave of absence.

Dr. Kelly Brackett entered the cubicle that housed Johnny and all the equipment he was attached to. "Well John, seems you couldn't stay away." He then went about examining his patient. "Not good, kid. Told you not to get sick."

"How is he, Kel?" Roy asked.

"He could be better, Roy. To tell you the truth, I'm very worried. His white cell count is really high. His red cells and platelets are low. Wish I knew what to do. I'm still waiting for the other tests to come back." Kel paced the room as he talked.

"That bad? Is it...." Roy trailed off.

"I don't know. I hope not." Brackett said.

"I don't want to lose him, Kel. I couldn't handle it." Roy confided in his friend.

"I know, Roy. None of us want him to die. Now, we have to think positive." Kel put a comforting hand on Roy's shoulder.

Roy smiled at his friend then picked up the hand of his lover. "He's just got to get better."

"Well, we're going to give him a transfusion to see if that doesn't help. Then we'll see what the tests say. We've scheduled him for a bone marrow test this afternoon, the spinal tap results haven't come back yet." Kel really didn't want to be having this conversation with Roy. "I also think you need to inform his family."

"He has no family, Kel. He won't tell me about his parents and his Aunt died six months ago." Roy felt bad for his friend.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Captain Stanley showed up two days later. Johnny was still fighting the infection and had lost about fifteen pounds. He looked terrible and this scared Hank more than when Johnny had the virus. "Roy."

"Hi, Cap. Johnny's sleeping. He was awake a little while ago. He's breathing better and the blood they've given him is helping. The god news is that he DOESN'T have Leukemia or any other Cancer. He's anemic and has a vitamin deficiency. The antibiotics aren't working as fast as they should, but Kel and Joe are optimistic." Roy said in a quiet voice.

"That's good to hear. When do you think he'll be ready to get out of here? He's going to be missed at the station." Hank had a feeling he knew what Roy was going to say next.

"He's worried, Cap. He thinks that since he's missed so many days, I mean he missed two and a half weeks when he had the virus, and then over the past two months he's missed almost ten days. " Roy couldn't continue.

"Tell John not to worry. His job is safe. The virus was work related and a lot of the subsequent illnesses were related to the virus according to Brackett and Early. So there's no way he'll face disciplinary actions for his absences." Hank explained to Roy.

"He'll be happy to hear that." Roy felt confident enough to talk to Hank about the change in his and Johnny's relationship. "Uh, Cap, can I buy you a cup of coffee? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, Roy." Hank led the way out of the ICU ward and to the cafeteria. "When are they moving Johnny?"

"Tomorrow. His fever's down to One hundred and staying steady. So they figure he could go to a regular room." Roy pushed open the door to the cafeteria. "You hungry?"

"Sure." Hank picked up a tray and started down the line. He settled on a sandwich and some chips with a glass of tea to wash it all down. He watched as Roy picked up a burger and fries along with a glass of milk. "Don't you ever drink anything else, besides milk and coffee?"

"Sure, beer, wine, tea, soda, I just feel like milk today. Johnny's the one who drinks more milk then anyone I know. Which brings me to why I asked you down here. Cap, Hank, this is harder than I thought it would be." Roy started wishing he hadn't needed to tell his captain what he had to say.

"Nothing's that bad, Pal. Take your time." Hank gave Roy's arm a squeeze.

"Okay, here goes. Cap, Johnny and I are in a relationship." Roy let out a big breath.

"Uh, like, together? Relationship, like living together?" Hank knew what Roy was saying he was just having a hard time getting his head around the news.

"Like sharing a bed, Cap." Roy looked at his captain closely. "We're prepared to resign if that's what's required."

"You don't have to resign, Roy. Neither does Johnny. If you can keep it out of the station, then I see no need to tell anyone else about this." Hank knew that he was right to say what he did. He trusted his men with his life. Now it was his turn to return that trust.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Part Three

It took Johnny almost two months to get back to full steam. He worked half shifts for the last three weeks. Roy was beside him every step of the way.

"Hey Roy?" Johnny called out from the bedroom.

"Yeah?" He walked down the hall towards his lover.

"Where's that box you brought in here. I thought I'd put the stuff away." Johnny was 'helping' Roy move in. Roy was doing all the work though since Johnny was still recuperating.

"Already done. Come on out here and lay on the couch. I wanna show you something." Roy pulled Johnny along by the arm.

Johnny sighed. He still felt weak after walking from the living room to the bedroom and back, so he knew Roy was right. He sat down on the couch and pulled the afghan over his lower body. "What you want to show me?"

"This." Roy took a small box out of his pocket. He opened it and handed the pendant to Johnny. "This angel is for you. She watches over you."

Johnny turned it over and looked at the words inscribed. 'Never say die. All my love, Roy.' Johnny felt the tears running down his face. "Oh, Roy. I could never say that word. I know I scared you so much. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no guilt. I wanted to be with you. I love you and would give anything to make you happy and healthy." Roy pulled Johnny to him and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Don't you forget it, either."

"I love you too, Roy. And believe me, I won't." Johnny returned the kiss then laid back and let his lover, friend and partner stretch out his legs and cover him up. The next thing either of them knew, Johnny was asleep with a small smile on his handsome face.

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the end

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