How Do You Say 'I Love You'?
copyright 2000

It was still dark when John Gage woke up. He had been having a hard time sleeping the past week. He wasn't sure what woke him, all he knew was he awoke at the same time every night. Truth be told, he was getting really worried on top of really cranky.

Deep down John knew what was going on, his best friend was going through a very rough time and it had Johnny worried. He took his dreams to heart and did his best to abide by them, and this one was telling him that Roy DeSoto was in trouble.

Roy had left the previous Monday for a two week vacation with his family. They had headed up to Lake Tahoe and the cabin he had rented. Roy took his wife Joanne and their two children, Christopher, age 7 and Jennifer, age 5. They had planned this vacation for three months. During that time, things had become estranged between Jo and Roy. They were fighting more and not communicating worth a darn. Roy secretly hoped that this vacation would patch things up between them.

Johnny had spent the first week dreaming about some disaster that was to befell his friend and partner. He had only known Roy for two years, yet there seemed to be some connection between the two that made a lot of people uneasy. They rarely had to speak to each other when out on a run. In fact they tended to finish each others sentences.

Johnny was so worried that come Friday he knew he had to do something. He got off work at 8 that morning and went to his boss and friend, Captain Hank Stanley and told him what was happening.

"Cap, I really don't know how to say this but, I've been having this dream that involves Roy and his family. I don't know what happens, I just know that they need me and they need me now. I know it's short notice, but I have a couple of days coming and I'd like to take the time to go up to Tahoe and quiet my thoughts. I know that if I went up there maybe I can keep whatever is gonna happen from happening."

Cap. Stanley looked at his paramedic. He trusted the man with his life and knew that if Johnny was having dreams then he needed to check them out. "Alright John, I know how much these dreams effect you. I'll do the paper work, you just see that you're back for shift on Wednesday."

Johnny shook his bosses hand an headed out of the station. He jumped into his Rover and headed home. His first stop was the bank to make sure he had enough cash for the trip.

Roy sat on the porch of the cabin and looked out over the lake. His wife of ten years was inside making breakfast and his children were out in the yard chasing the ducks that were hanging around the lake. Roy laughed as his kids chased after the ducks tossing pieces of day old bread at them.

Joanne DeSoto came out of the cabin and called them in for breakfast. Roy grunted as he got up and headed in after his children.

"Hey guys, want to go out on the lake today and see if we can catch some fish?" Roy looked at his son and daughter with a twinkle in his eye.

Jo looked at Roy and cleared her throat. "Actually Roy, the kids want to go to town and participate in the Flag day preparations that my sister and her children will be helping with. I already told Ellen that they'd be there. It will give us some time to spend alone."

Roy was a little disappointed but he knew that this vacation was more for the kids than anyone else. "Okay, you kids have fun with Aunt Ellen and your cousins." Roy excused himself and headed back outside.

Jo watched him from the window as he picked up his fishing gear and headed down to the lake. She was hoping that they get to talk and figure out how to save their marriage or dissolve it.

Johnny made good time and arrived at Lake Tahoe at noon on Saturday. He stopped in town and loaded up on supplies then headed out to the camp grounds. He knew that the cabin Roy had rented had camp grounds for people with campers and tents.

Johnny finished pitching his tent and stowing his gear. He then headed off to the cabin following the directions the camp grounds manager had given him.

Johnny came upon the cabin a half hour after setting off on foot. He heard Roy before he saw him. Roy was yelling at the top of his lungs. Who he was yelling at was another story. Johnny walked up to the cabin and peered into the window. He cringed at what he saw.

Roy had Joanne cowering in the corner of the living room. He had never been so mad at the woman before.

"TELL ME WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT THE KIDS WERE STAYING AT ELLEN'S HOUSE!!!" Roy roared at his wife.

"Because you and I need to work out our problems before we head back to LA and having them here is just distracting you from me. Dammit Roy, can't you see what's happening to us?" Jo had never been this pissed at her husband before but she was feeling neglected.

Johnny walked up to the door and knocked hard. He held his breath waiting for someone to answer.

Roy stopped mid-rant and wondered who the hell could be knocking at the door. He stormed over and threw open the door ready to yell at whoever was there. His jaw dropped when he saw John Gage standing on his porch.

"Uh, Johnny, what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in, Roy? I need to talk to you." Johnny tried to push his way into the cabin.

"Can't this wait Johnny? Jo and I are having a discussion right now and I really don't want to stop it." Roy was looking flushed and tired. He had dark circles under his eyes.

Jo came to the door and looked around Roy, "Hi John. Roy can't come out and play right now. We're having a discussion and I'm waiting for his retort. Can you come back tomorrow?"

Johnny looked from Roy to Jo then back. "I guess so. Is everything all right here?"

"Yes!" Roy and Jo said at the same time.

Johnny walked back to his camp site. He was thinking about what he had just witnessed between his best friend and his wife. He had never seen them fight like they had. In fact, he had never even known them to fight or disagree about anything.

Johnny sat on a log in front of the fire thinking about Roy and what it would be like to hold him and take away his pain and misery. He didn't know where the feelings came from, only that he felt them. He thought back to the time he first met Roy and started wondering if the feelings changed then or if he just hid them from himself. All he knew was that he wanted Roy in his life in the physical sense. He knew that he couldn't possibly have him, but that didn't stop him from fantasizing about his partner and best friend.

Back at the cabin, Joanne DeSoto had finally had enough. She was packing hers and the children's luggage. Roy was doing his best to stop her.

"Why do you have to leave? TELL ME DAMMIT! What did I do wrong?" Roy was following his wife around the cabin. He so wanted to know what she was trying to tell him.

"You just don't get it do you?" Jo stated. "We've been married for ten years and you still haven't figured it out. I love you Roy, I'm just not 'in' love with you." Jo had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Why?" was all Roy could say.

"Think about it Roy." Jo finished packing the bags and headed out to her sisters car. She had borrowed it so Roy would have a way to get back to LA to go to work.

Roy stood on the porch watching his wife leave him. He was still standing there when the sun had gone down and it had gotten chilly.

Johnny was hiking back to the cabin after having had a bad feeling wash over him. He was sure that this was the reason he had had the nightmares. It was just getting dark when he came upon the cabin. He could make out a lone figure sitting in a rocker on the porch.

Johnny approached the cabin quietly so as not to startle his friend. He could here the muffled, snuffling noises the man was making. Johnny could feel his heart breaking more with every step he took approaching the cabin.

"Hey, Pally," Johnny called softly," What's wrong?"

Roy looked up at his best friend approaching. "Oh, God, Johnny," he started crying harder as he spoke," She left me." With that he couldn't speak over the tears.

Johnny sat down by the crying man. "It's going to be all right Roy," Johnny put his arm around his friend. Johnny reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a handkerchief, he handed this to Roy.

Roy took the offered cloth and wiped his eyes and blew his nose. He looked at Johnny with devastated eyes. "She left and took the kids. I don't know what to do. She said that she wasn't 'in' love with me anymore and that I knew it all ready."

Johnny pulled Roy to him and spoke quiet words of comfort. "It'll be all right in the end. I'll be here for you."

Roy leaned into Johnny's arms relishing in the feeling of safety and love. He hadn't felt that in a long, long time. "Thank you Johnny, I know I can count on you."

Johnny got Roy up and into the cabin. He fed him then had him lay down. Within fifteen minutes Roy was asleep and Johnny was heading into town. He pulled up in front of Jo's sisters house twenty minutes later. He was pissed and he wanted to find out why Jo left Roy the way she did.

Ellen Hendrickson answered the door when Johnny knocked. She had a dishtowel in her hand, "Yes, may I help you?"

Johnny looked at her with his dark brown eyes drawn into slits, "Is Joanne DeSoto here?"

Ellen looked at the man standing on her porch skeptically, "May I ask who you are and what you want with her?"

"My name is John Gage and I want to talk to her about her husband, my friend, Roy." John was hard pressed to keep his temper in check. He was well know for his volatile temper and he tried his best to keep it in check around Roy's family.

"Just one minute, I'll see if she's available." Ellen closed the door in Johnny's face.

He stood on the porch waiting for a good five minutes until Jo came to the door. "Hello John, " Jo looked as if she'd been crying. "What can I do for you this evening?"

"What you can do is tell me what happened between you and Roy. I mean, why the hell are you throwing away ten years of marriage. What did he do that was so bad that you stopped being in love with him?" Johnny was shaking in his boots. He was so pissed at his friends wife. He had never before wanted to hit a woman until now.

"It's not what Roy did, it's what Roy is. I really can't explain it to you Johnny. I know that Roy is in love with somebody else and I feel that I should get out of the picture so he can act on his feelings." Jo was talking quietly.

Johnny walked up to Jo and pulled her into his arms. "Who is he in love with? Is it another woman, because he's never said anything to me about this."

"It's not another woman, Johnny. It's another man." Jo looked at Johnny to get his reaction.

"Are you sure, Jo?" Johnny asked calmly.

"Yes, John. I'm positive. It's been like this for going on two years now. In fact, it's been happing since he met you. You see Johnny, you're the one Roy loves. Not me, he hasn't been in love with me for a long time now. I knew he had feelings for men when we got married and I thought that maybe by being there for him, I could, I don't know, change him maybe. It was working until you came along." Jo was torn between being angry and hurt or being glad that she was sharing this with her husbands friend and brother.

"I never knew Jo. I swear, I never did anything to give Roy the idea that I felt anything more than maybe brotherly love towards him. Hell, I hardly know you or him." Johnny was starting to breathe hard. He had to get out before he said something he was going to regret. "Look Jo, you do what you feel you have to do. I'll take care of Roy and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I gotta go."

Johnny turned around and jumped into Roy's car and headed back to the cabin. He had a life to save and a love to conquer.

Roy woke up a little disoriented. He looked around for a few minutes before he remembered where he was and what had happened. He sat up in the bed and wrapped his arms around his knees and started rocking back and forth. That's the way he was when Johnny returned from Ellen's house.

"Hey there Pally. Are you okay?" Johnny approached the bed quietly, afraid to startle the man.

"She left me Johnny. She left me. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to go on without her." Roy said this between sobs and hitching breaths.

Johnny crawled up on the bed and pulled Roy into his arms. He wrapped his arms around his friend and rocked him gently. "It's okay Roy. I'm here and I'll take care of you."

Roy slowly calmed down and leaned against Johnny's chest. Johnny ran his hands up and down Roy's arms as he felt Roy relax.

"Johnny?" Roy whispered. "You won't leave me, will you?"

Johnny's heart broke at Roy's plaintive cry. "I promise love, I won't leave you. You don't have to worry about anything. I will be here for you no matter what."

Roy snuggled in closer to Johnny's chest as he quietly wept. Tears slowly ran down Johnny's cheeks to mingle with those of Roy's.

Johnny slept with Roy in his arms. He still had his dreams. They changed somewhat to show that Roy was now out of danger. Johnny now dreamed of a life with Roy that was a loving and fulfilling one.

Roy woke up slowly feeling drained yet happy. He knew what had happened, but he also knew that he wasn't going to be alone. He felt the strong arms of his best friend holding him and reassuring him that everything would be all right.

Johnny looked down at Roy and smiled. He had felt him moving and knew that he was awake. "Hey there sleepyhead." Johnny whispered.

Roy raised his head and smiled at his friend. "Good morning. Are you okay?"

Johnny smiled at this question. "Yes I am, are you?"

"I think so. I'm not sure what's going on I just know that I feel different somehow. Not sad or happy really, just.....here." Roy pushed himself upright and got out of the bed. He headed towards the bathroom to relieve himself.

Johnny went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee before going out to his truck. He had packed up his gear after his fateful meeting with Joanne the afternoon before. He had then brought everything to the cabin. He hadn't unpacked since he wasn't sure how things would turn out. Now he knew, so he went out to get his gear so he could shower and change.

Roy went into the kitchen following the smell of the coffee and looking for Johnny. He was sitting at the kitchen table playing with his cup of coffee when Johnny returned.

"Hey, Roy, you want anything to eat?" John was smiling as he watched his friend look around the room.

"Uhmm, not really. I think I want to go sit by the lake and feed the ducks for a while. I'm okay, I just need to think." Roy refilled his cup and grabbed the partial loaf of bread. He then headed down to the lake and sat against a tall pine tree slowly feeding the fish.

Johnny went and took a shower and made himself some breakfast. Taking his plate, he went down to the lake and sat next to Roy. They sat there not speaking, just giving each other comfort.

They spent the afternoon fishing and talking about what Roy was going to do now that Jo was staying with her sister.

"I don't want the house, Johnny." Roy was saying.

"I know Roy, do you want me to help you sell it? You know you can always stay with me. I close on the Ranch next month and can use more hands to help refurbish the place." Johnny quietly said knowing that Roy would probably agree to the idea.

"I just might take you up on that Junior. If I sell the house, I'll have to give half to Jo and then I can use the other half to help you out with the Ranch." Roy was starting to show some life now.

"Let's talk to a lawyer when we get back to LA. He might just have the answers we need to make sure that you come out with as much intact as financially possible." Johnny picked up on Roy's excitement.

"Dammit. I hadn't thought of that. I don't know any lawyers other then the one who helped us out last year. I do have a friend who I was in the Army with, who went on to law school, but I haven't talked to him in over three years." Roy sank back down into the depression he had been in after Jo had first left him.

Johnny heaved a sigh and picked up the trash from their picnic lunch. He then got Roy up and headed back towards to the cabin. He thought about the lawyer problem the whole way back to the cabin.

Johnny got Roy to take a shower and change while he put together a quick supper. They ate in silence each man thinking about the future.

After supper the two men played gin and talked about the upcoming world series games. Each man took a different team to argue over. They drank beer and played well into the night. It was after midnight before they locked up and decided to turn in.

Roy had crawled straight into bed after turning out the lights. Johnny went into the bathroom and did his routine. He was walking down the hall to use the other room when he heard Roy calling quietly.

"Johnny?" Roy started. Johnny poked his head into the room.

"What'ch ya need Pal?" Johnny asked.

"Would you please stay with me, at least until I've gone to sleep?" Roy sounded so dejected that Johnny's heart broke a little more.

"Sure Pally. Move over and I'll keep ya company for a while. You just lay there and close your eyes. That's right. Forget all that has happened and go to sleep. I'll be right here beside you." Johnny laid on his back wondering if Roy could feel what he was doing to his friend.

Sometime in the night the two men moved so that Johnny was holding Roy and they slept deeply and dreamlessly.

The next few weeks flew by for the two men. Johnny closed on his Ranch and hired out the rest of A-shift to move him from the Apartment in LA to the Ranch.

With all the pick-up trucks and station wagons available to the men they had the whole two bedroom apartment moved in five hours. Unpacking was left solely to Johnny and anyone who wanted to help him.

Roy had put his house on the sales block and packed his stuff and moved it into Johnny's barn until the horses arrived at least.

Joann put up minimal fuss over the selling of the house. She felt that it was too big for her and the kids and didn't want Roy to have it outright, so she agreed to the sale. She also agreed to the visitations and child-support payments.

Jo and the kids remained in Tahoe until Roy had the house sold and the proceeds split. She then moved to San Diego to be nearer to her parents. The kids took the break up as well as young children could. Christopher had the hardest time dealing with the loss of his father. His mom tried to explain what had happened but young Chris was just too young to understand. Jennifer just went along with everyone else.

As Roy had told Johnny that night in the cabin, he put his part of the proceeds from the house towards the refurbishing of Johnny's Ranch. Johnny had a hard time accepting the nearly $25,000 dollar gift. He felt that Roy should use the money to help out with the support payments and alimony.

"You know Roy, you're gonna need that money one day. I just don't want to see you hurting." Johnny was again trying to get Roy to keep the money.

"I know that Johnny. I also know that you're letting me live here without charging me and I feel that I owe you. I want to do this for you. I owe you so much, you've taken care of me through the whole mess of a divorce, you helped me find a good lawyer and got me outta payin' more alimony and child support than I can afford." Roy was looking down at the floor as he said this.

Johnny walked over to Roy and used his hand to lift Roy's head. "Listen to me, Roy. I do not need your money. You need to put that aside for yourself. Invest it, make the money work for you. I want you to let me worry about the Ranch."

Roy knew at this time it was useless to argue, but he would give Johnny the money someway.

Now while all this time was passing, Roy slept in a separate bedroom. Now that they were completely moved into the Ranch, Roy looked around the four bedroom house and picked out a room for himself. He and Johnny hadn't shared a bed since that night at the cabin. They talked and spent time cuddling on the couch on their nights off, but they did not sleep together.

Johnny was afraid that Roy would feel like he's being pushed into another relationship he wasn't ready for. And Roy was afraid of getting hurt again.

Johnny wasn't really happy about this situation. He loved Roy with all his heart but was finding it difficult to tell him. He so wanted to pull Roy into his arms and tell him how much he loved and cherished him and how he would never hurt him. He just knew that he had to wait. When the time presented itself, then he would make his move. He just secretly hoped that the time would be soon.

Now Roy was going through his own problems. You see, he too loved Johnny. Because of Joann he couldn't bring it to the forefront of his heart and tell his friend his feelings. He remembered that night in the cabin when Johnny just held him and made him feel safe and loved. He so wanted to feel that way again.

Roy walked out of the room he'd chosen and ran into Johnny, "Hey Junior. I put my stuff in the bedroom across from yours. I hope you don't mind."

Johnny smiled at his friend and grinned mischievously. "Now we can talk late at night through the wall without mom and dad hearing us." Johnny giggled as he said this.

"You're just too much Junior. I don't think I'll be able to hear you through the wall though. Maybe sometime we can do a sleep over though." Roy hoped Johnny got the gist of what he was saying.

"Maybe, Pally, maybe." Johnny headed back downstairs to finish unpacking the kitchen stuff. He had boxes scattered about in all the rooms.

Roy laughed and headed down to help with the unpacking. He started in the living room unpacking boxes of books and knick-knacks that Johnny and he had collected over the years. A lot of Johnny's stuff had Native American and Southwestern themes. Roy took his time looking each item over before deciding where to put it. His small collection consisted mostly of pictures of his Mother and his kids, plus some framed awards he had received as a firefighter/paramedic. Most of his books and curios were stored in the barn. He didn't want to have Johnny think that he was taking over the house.

Johnny walked into the living room two hours later carrying two bottles of beer. He saw how Roy had arranged everything and he liked it. He stopped just inside the room and looked around. The bookshelves that were on either side of the massive fireplace had a mixture of books and knick-knacks. There were pictures already placed on the walls and a blanket Johnny had picked up at a reservation in Arizona was placed over the back of the sofa.

"Great job, Roy. I couldn't have done this this well or this fast." Johnny handed Roy his beer then sat down in his recliner.

Roy joined him, sitting on his recliner that was positioned right by Johnny's with an end table between the chairs. He set his beer down and stretched. "Yeah, it does look good. I wasn't sure if you wanted all this stuff put where I put it, but I figured if you didn't like it, you could always move them."

Johnny took another look around then shook his head. "Nope, everything's perfect. Thanks, Pally."

Roy felt his heart surge at the compliment from his best friend. "You're welcome, Johnny."

Both men sat and drank their beers in companionable silence for a half an hour. Then Johnny got up to go start dinner.

The men made it an early night as they had been up late the last few nights packing and then up early moving. Roy went to his room and got ready to turn in. He so wanted to have Johnny hold him, yet since nothing had been said about the night in Tahoe, he wasn't sure how Johnny felt.

Across the hall, Johnny was going through the same problems. He too wanted to be able to hold Roy and to have Roy hold him. He had been afraid to brooch the subject after Tahoe. He wanted to know how Roy felt. Johnny was sure how he felt. He wanted Roy in a big way.

The house grew quiet as the men settled down and went to sleep. Roy awoke around 1 am. He heard a muffled sound. Listening closely, Roy got out of bed and opened his door. Stepping in the hall, he heard the noise again. The sound was coming from Johnny's room. He pushed open the door and looked into the room. Johnny was laying in a tangled mess of sheets and blankets as he writhed around apparently caught in the throes of a nightmare.

Roy approached the bed quietly. He didn't want to disturb Johnny. He knelt beside the bed and watched his friend going through the nightmare. Johnny suddenly got very vocal. Roy laid a hand on Johnny's exposed bare shoulder.

"No don't do it. I promise, I won't say anything to anyone." Johnny was saying in his sleep. Roy wondered what he wouldn't talk about.

Johnny suddenly let out a scream. Sitting bolt upright in the bed, sweat pouring down his torso. His eyes had a haunted look about them. Johnny was seeing, just not his immediate surroundings.

Roy reached out and placed his hands on Johnny's chest. He felt the sweat and the pounding heart. Roy hitched in his breath. He wanted nothing more than to take the man into his arms and take away the demons that haunted his friend.

Johnny felt the hands on his chest. He knew that whoever was there was a friend and would help him find his way back. "Roy?" Johnny asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm hear Junior. Listen to me. Follow my voice back." Roy called out quietly.

"Where are you Roy? I can't find you." His small whispers continued.

Roy crawled up onto the bed and pulled the man into his arms. He held him close to his chest while whispering comforting nonsense words in his friends ear.

Slowly Johnny became aware of his surroundings. He felt the arms around his upper body. He leaned back into the comforting arms and sighed deeply.

Roy continued speaking slowly running his hand up and down Johnny's torso. He had never felt anything like this. He was giving back to his friend for what he had done a month prior.

After an hour, Roy felt Johnny relax and fall back to sleep. Roy soon followed still holding his friend to his chest. Roy felt complete knowing that his friend was safe and sleeping soundly in his arms.

Roy woke up a couple of hours later needing to stretch. He had fallen asleep sitting up and his back was feeling stiff. He looked down at Johnny and saw that he was still sleeping soundly. He carefully removed himself from the bed and laid Johnny down on the pillows. Johnny whimpered a little but fell back to sleep quickly.

Roy stretched and went to the bathroom to relieve himself. He then came back into the bedroom and laid down next to Johnny. He didn't want the man to be alone in case he had another nightmare. The sun was slowly rising in the east when Roy climbed back into bed. He was lying on his back when he felt the bed shift. Johnny rolled over and planted himself right next to Roy placing his hand on Roy's furry chest. Roy sighed and closed his eyes willing his erection to go away. It was a lost cause. Roy drifted in and out of sleep for the next couple of hours until he couldn't stand it anymore. He got up and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and climbed in, setting the water on cold he hoped his erection would abate quickly so he could take a hot shower and relieve the tension in his shoulders.

Roy was leaning against the wall while the hot water cascaded over his tight back muscles. He felt a cold breeze over his back but didn't have the energy to turn around. He then felt two strong hands begin to massage the muscles, working all the kinks out.

Johnny leaned in and whispered in Roy's ear, "Morning Roy. Thank you for being there last night. I really needed someone. I'm glad it was you." Johnny then placed a soft kiss on Roy's cheek. He continued massaging the tight back muscles.

Roy sighed and relished the massage as it loosened all the tight muscles. When he felt the brush of warm breath and kiss on his cheek, he sighed even deeper. He felt Johnny's hands move around to his chest. He let himself be pulled closer to his friends lithe body. He reached back and grabbed Johnny's neck bringing his face closer. Roy turned his head and captured his friends lips in a searing kiss.

Johnny helped Roy finish his shower. Then they switched places and Roy bathed Johnny. They took their time washing each other. Savoring the feel of each others wet skin. Roy slowly ran his hands down Johnny's back. He grabbed a hold of the firm tight buttocks. Slowly slipping a finger in the crease and running it up and down. He felt Johnny's body tense, then slowly relax as Roy continued ministrations.

Johnny leaned against the wall using his hands to keep himself upright. He then spread his legs giving Roy the access he needed to continue playing. Johnny moaned as Roy slipped a soapy finger into the tight opening. Roy worked the finger in and out of the orifice liking the feel of the muscles gripped the finger. Roy moaned as he added a second finger and was gripped even harder. Johnny started moving against the invaders loving the feelings Roy was bringing out.

"Do it Roy!" Johnny gasped out panting with need.

Roy moved closer to his friend and slowly removed his fingers replacing them with his hard, firm cock. Johnny moaned louder as he felt the hard member make it's self known at his entrance. Johnny spread his legs even further apart as Roy moved his cock into the tight opening. Roy began thrusting slowly in and out grabbing Johnny's hips moving faster and faster.

Johnny moaned again as Roy thrust his cock in and out of his ass. "Yeah, Roy," Johnny moaned as Roy made contact with his prostate. "Harder, man, harder." Johnny yelled.

Roy pounded into his lover with utter abandon. Finally thrusting in and holding still while his seed filled Johnny's hole. Roy leaned against Johnny catching his breath. He slowly pulled out and washed Johnny off taking his time and being totally methodical.

Roy then pulled Johnny to him and whispered in his ear." I love you Johnny. I couldn't tell you this before. I was so afraid of how you'd react."

Johnny stepped out of Roy's arms and out of the shower. He held up a towel for Roy as he stepped out after him. Pulling Roy to him, he dried him off and lavished his face and neck with kisses and love bites. "Roy, I have felt the same way about you. I too was afraid to say anything. I do know how people like us will be treated. We need to be as careful as possible."

Roy put his arms around his love and hugged him tightly. "I know we do, Junior. I want to be careful with you. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I need you in my life. You make it all worthwhile. I love being a firefighter and a paramedic, but I am 'in' love with you. I don't care how anyone else thinks of us. I just want to be with you."

Johnny pulled away and grabbed Roy's hand. He then led him to his bed. Gently he pushed Roy down on the fresh sheets and then joined him. He pulled the covers up and curled himself around his new lover. Together they slept, quietly and dreaming only of their new life together.

~fini~

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